13. The Lady with the Nutty Chimp

“If you’re making a joke and it involves a monkey and a black person, you’re probably going to get called a racist. … If a black person can be connected through six degrees of separation with your monkey, then don’t make the joke.” ~ Raving Black Lunatic

Dear Lady with the Now-Deceased Nutty Chimp:

When a person loses a pet, no matter the circumstances, it’s a tough situation. Unless you are Michael Vick, but you’re not. That said, I’m sincerely sorry for your loss and for what happened to your friend.

He agrees.

He agrees.

I’m writing this letter to you, though, because I want you to apologize as well. I need for you to accept culpability for the drama that has unfolded in the wake of your chimp literally going apeshit. Why you? Because your chimpanzee gave that New York Post cartoonist the fodder to draw up that ridiculous sketch for Wednesday’s paper.

Yes, it was in poor taste and a racial oversight of sorts.  But it shouldn’t be the huge ordeal it has become (no one got upset when someone compared George W. Bush to a monkey). But America, parts of which believed racism died the day President Obama was elected, and Rev. Al Sharpton are making this an unnecessary dramatization for profit. Surprise, surprise.

Why won’t people realize and accept that ethnic disputes and racism, however subtle or unintentional, aren’t going anywhere anytime soon? There’s a cultural war going on in Israel that began long before any of our grandparents’ grandparents’ grandparents’ grandparents’ grandparents’ grandparents’ grandparents’ grandparents’ grandparents’ grandparents … … were alive.

It’s not just randomness.

This considered, our melting pot of a nation shouldn’t be outraged to a point where people want to boycott The Post like it’s 1955 in Montgomery, Ala. Instead, we need to continue doing the necessary work to get mindful minority eyes in a position to keep similar foolishness from going to print in the future. We’re on the right track as a nation. Remember, we have a black president.

But there clearly weren’t a set of black or mindful eyes looking at that cartoon before it hit the presses. I can’t blame you for that part.

But I will fault you for having a batcrazy chimp that put the seed in that cartoonist’s mind to think subtly comparing President Obama and his stimulus bill to your dead chimp might be a genius idea. Someone has to take the blame, and it’s apparent The Post staff won’t do so with sincerity. You have to remember that their owner is a devout Sarah Palin fan.

Sincerely yours,



8 responses to “13. The Lady with the Nutty Chimp

  1. funny…i think she should also apologize for giving that chimp xanax and herbal tea which ultimately caused him to rip her friends face off…smh

  2. is it true she would take baths witht he chimp? someone said that to me yesterday and i have yet to research it… it is tragic though. just goes to show… monkeys should not be pets. someone send michael the memo.

    can the next letter be to tyler perry? do we really need another madea movie? nina and i say no! LOL!

  3. I don’t know about her taking baths with the chimp. But like JLBD said, if you have to give your pet Xanax, it’s not a pet. lol … and I will eventually get to Tyler Perry, trust and believe.

  4. I blame her for having a monkey that needed Xanax.

    If your monkey needs hardcore drugs to be happy, maybe what you have is not a pet. Maybe it’s a trained junkie, who is going to get pissed one day and fuck you up.

    Just a thought.

  5. lol @ bigman…ummm….i thought i was the only one who thought al sharpton jumped on “civil rights bandwagons” for pay..

    good post, friend.

  6. Crazy woman. I can’t imagine the loneliness she feels now. But she’s definitely the reason why black people are boycotting the NY Post. No doubt about it.

  7. Thanks for throwing this specific idea at me Akirah. It worked well, homie.

  8. Wasn’t that a theory at one time of how AIDS spread: fools messing around with wild primates? Makes you think for a moment…

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