14. My Unborn Child

Dear Child:

I really have no clue as to how this is going to go seeing as how I don’t know who your mother is. But the good thing is that it’s not the other way around: me, a pregnant mother with no idea who the father is.

That would make me a prime candidate for the label of whore and The Maury Povich Show. You’ll learn the definition of that word earlier than you probably should knowing me. But you’ll know a whoremonger is something you are not to become. And I pray that you never know the buffoonery that is Maury’s show.

I’m writing this so there will be less explaining to do once you start reading at three. Yes, you’re destined to be a genius. You have no choice in that matter.

I want you to learn early about the important things in life, as well as the pitfalls. The younger you are when you make mistakes, the better chance you have to get back up and succeed. Life gets harder with age.

You will be born into this world an unknowing creature who can’t care for self. But with time, you will pick things up. Oddly though, the more you learn, the more skeptical of your surroundings you will become. It’s natural, just ask Adam and Eve.

You will not want to trust people. You will want to keep to yourself. But that’s when I’ll be there to push you into a sometimes dark abyss and tell you to be still and fearless. I’ll repeat my motto (Fear little. Love big. Give more. Expect less.) so often that you’ll think of me the same way you’ll think of the Baptist preacher who tells you that Jesus got up on the third day with all power in His hands … over and over and over again.

But in time, you’ll learn over time that He got up because He feared little, loved big, gave more and expected less. This life is really that simple. But it’s so hard to stay on that narrow path. But you’ll learn. I know it.

I don’t know whether you’ll be a boy or a girl or if you’ll have brothers or sisters. But I will tell you that you have three beautiful princesses and an adorable prince (who will not stop throwing up on me for anything) for cousins. Whenever you come along, I’m sure they’ll welcome you with open arms. As will your mom, whoever she may be, and I.

Trust, we already know that heaven will lose an angel when you arrive.

Loving you already,

Dad

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12 responses to “14. My Unborn Child

  1. awww….what a lucky kid 🙂

  2. you have a very clever blog here.love the letter.

    MsP

  3. very nice… but I’ll have you know, the Maury show is classic comedy. i mean… yes we already know what is going to happen… the chick sits on stage and says she is 1000000% sure and then the infamous, “You are NOT the father!” dude jumps up all happy with his I told you sos and then she runs off stage and collapses. that and Cheaters make for some excellent entertainment! HA!

  4. You know, at some point I’m going to do an entire letter on Maury. One of my best friends swears by it. I used to stop on it when flipping channels, but it got too formulaic. And it’s definitely not there to help people. It’s about pimping coonery for ratings. I’m not sure anyone who goes on that show would do so if they had a lick of sense. Now, Cheaters? I rarely watch it, but I’ll agree, that’s entertainment.

  5. Go google the girl who was on Maury six times and each and every time the fool she was saying was the daddy….was ….take a guess….not the daddy….She looked like an idiot each and every time. I think she just liked being on tv to show off her new hairstyles and such…smh

  6. *tear*

    i love your motto!

  7. omg! i was actually thinking of writing a similar letter on my blog as ‘mother’! just haven’t gotten around to it… sounds like you will be a good dad. 🙂

  8. awww. this was cute. if your goal was to make women say, “awww”, you definitely succeeded. very sweet. 🙂

  9. The aim is to write the letter to the kid, but to also make anyone who reads it think about the way we live our lives, and how we screw it up what was meant to be done so often. But I don’t mind making a woman say “awww.” Not one bit. lol.

  10. My goodnesss. Ok let me say it…awwwww…that has to be the most touching thing. Honestly it was nice to see a male write something in this way.

    I love your motto and the way you related it to Jesus. That’s a selfless kind of love and if you and I and this precious unborn child can achieve that then we have really accomplished something big.

    Man…I can’t think of a person I know who wouldn’t be proud to have you either as a father, friend or husband.

    For some reason that quote, “Show me the mother and I’ll show you the child” popped into my head except with any child of yours I think if you show me the child, I can surely find the father.

  11. Dope words… couldn’t have said it any better myself.

  12. Ok Damon-stop making me cry at work! That is soo cute! I love the “heaven will lose an angel” part….

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