24. Wilson

Dear Wilson (the volleyball from “Cast Away”):

I can sincerely tell you that I dislike volleyball with most of my heart. I can’t watch the sport without wanting to claw my eyeballs out of their sockets. Don’t ask why. I have no justifiable explanation.

The world's most popular volleyball/imaginary friend: Wilson.

The world's most popular volleyball/imaginary friend: Wilson.

Still, I must tell you that if a volleyball (or any other inanimate object) were ever to win an Academy Award, you would be my choice, hands down. In fact, you should have won for best supporting actor in 2000 for your role opposite Tom Hanks in “Cast Away.” But you couldn’t even get a nomination.

My fellow Americans and The Academy must not like volleyball, either.

But seriously, you carried Hanks’ character through an extremely rough stage in his life. I can’t imagine what I’d do if I were stranded on a deserted island for four years with no one to converse with. Suppose I’d talk to myself, too.

I bet that’s why kids who don’t have brothers or sisters are more susceptible to having imaginary friends, like you. They need someone to confide in as well. So they create figments of their imagination and/or befriend stuffed animals, Legos and Spongebob Squarepants.

As a child, I created an entire world where the characters from He-Man interacted with G.I. Joes and Lego people. And I have two brothers and a sister. Crazy, right? But it’s amazing what opening up one’s mind can do for a person. It helps you find your creative niche. It helps you understand other people’s points of views. It helps you through life struggles.

Hell, opening your mind can help you hold on when you’re not so sure you have reason to live. You’re an living example of that.  You kept Hanks’ character believing in something when he had no business believing. And his beliefs, hopes and prayers were answered with your help.

So you know, yes, a tear or two fell from my eyes when you sailed off to sea, and forever parted ways from your four-year friend. It was sad. I understood that you had to move on with your existence. Seasons change. That’s life.

I still believe you deserved at least an Oscar nomination. You were robbed.

Keep on sailing,


P.S. How could I forget something so important. It’s a time-honored code about your kind learned primarily on gym hardwood, in American driveways and on blacktop: a ball never lies. How can a human friend compete with that?


12 responses to “24. Wilson

  1. Aw. Wilson. I wouldn’t have minded if he had won an Oscar. I mean, acting non-verbally is probably more difficult than acting verbally.

  2. WILSON!!!

  3. CDF … I surely was waiting on someone to scream Wilson’s name and start fake crying. lol. Didn’t take too long, huh?

  4. Wilson would have been my friend and confidant if I were in that situation as well. He was the perfect friend, he didn’t talk back and listened to all your problems. Kept you company and always had a pleasant look on his face.

  5. jlbd, I don’t know if I call a bloodied face pleasant. I think I can find a few people who would agree with me (Rihanna). Then again, there are a few who wouldn’t including that bloody-nose loving girl from ANTM (still not gay).

  6. well it depends on how you look at it, although his face was bloody he did have a semi-smile formed into the blood. So, that’s what I was talking about. 🙂

  7. His smile looks like it was struggling from listening to a man gone crazy.

  8. @Damon

    Right, I know but he’s putting that face on because he’s a good friend and does not want his friend to know that he thinks that he’s a complete nutcase…..good ball friend. 🙂

  9. Damn skippy! Wilson was robbed, like Oprah was as Miss Sofia. No justice, no peace!

  10. He totally didn’t get the recognition he deserved for his role in that film. I thought I was the only one outraged by this fact.

    In any event, this letter explains why to this day I still give everything (inanimate or not) a name. I’m exploring my “creative niche.” Thank you for giving me that! I was tired of being called crazy and/or weird.

  11. This explains so much, lol!

  12. VOIT!!

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