To: No. 32. Saint Patrick
Date: set to send on Tuesday, 17 Mar 2009
From: Damon <thismayconcernyou (at) gmail (dot) com>
Subject: FW: 8. Saint Valentine
When I was young, I only thought your day was about wearing green, chasing leprechauns, finding four-leaved clovers and getting pinched if you didn’t wear your favorite color.
As I’ve aged, I’ve learned that your day is about so much more. It’s another excuse for white people to take off work, attended a parade and get ridiculously drunk. Oddly enough, most of the people who celebrate this day aren’t Irish. I’ve even thrown back a green beer or two. It’s very perplexing — kinda like Jewish people celebrating Mardi Gras or Christmas.
Anyway, I won’t keep you. I’ve already penned a letter to your brethren, Saint Valentine, that explains how I feel about your kind. That makes me green because I’m not wasting ink, words or papyrus.
Hope your grave is treating you well.
Going green (for real) soon,
Date: Sat, 14 Feb 2009
To: Saint Valentine
Subject: No. 8 Saint Valentine