“No one makes you feel nothing. You feel that yourself.” — Steve Harvey on Monday’s Oprah Winfrey Show.
I commend you on telling the truth about the way men think. So many women believe they have us figured out only to learn that they’ve landed on one of Jupiter’s moons, and are nowhere near Mars.
But with your new book — “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man” — you’re trying to guide them toward the tiny red planet. That’s a good thing for us all. People need to better understand what the opposite sex is thinking and why women/men do the things we do.
That said, I’m glad I caught you on Oprah.
Seriously, those two women interviewees who started the show on Monday may be thriving in some aspects of life. But they’re also absolutely nuts. With haste, you broke down their laundry lists of MUST HAVES for a man. I’ll paraphrase what you said: “If you can’t do those things for a man, you shouldn’t ask them of him.”
The cooking. The cleaning. The sexing. Any of it. A salient point, indeed.
At some point came the buffoonery of the re:virgin** who knows nothing about reciprocation. She was asinine enough to come on a syndicated national television show and declare her re:virginity. Yet she thinks heavy petting and receiving oral sex is OK. But here’s the kicker: She won’t reciprocate oral sex.
You gave her the proper response … a blank stare that read: “What the hell is wrong with you?” Then joked that you wanted to join her church. Hilarious. You should have also told her that any woman who won’t reciprocate oral sex is asking for her man to seek out a navy dress to stain (think: Lewinsky).
The only place you misstepped was with the six NYC upwardly mobile 20-somethings. They queried you about intimidating men who know that they, as women, can do for themselves, and how they should refrain from such activity. You went on a tangent about them not parading their Prada and Dior in front of men. I disagree.
A woman who can, should do for self … but remain humble. She should also know when to allow a man to do for her. But she shouldn’t worry about a guy (notice the word change: man to guy) who is too insecure to be with a self-sufficient woman. That’s not the man she needs, and she shouldn’t stoop that low.
This brings me to my final point before I purchase your book: You need to write a sequel to guys explaining how to be real men. It may not top the NY Times Best Seller’s list like the current title (or maybe it could be). But it’s a book that needs to be written.
There are so many women out there aimlessly looking for a man because there are so few good ones from which to pick. Another reason: There are too many Monica Lewinsky-types parading around the private parts of otherwise decent guys.
Guys need to know that it’s OK to be a good man who shows his true feelings from time to time. It’s OK to avoid being the stereotypical fools we’ve pigeonholed and painted ourselves into being by chasing trash. And it’s more than OK to avoid a woman who throws the “cookie” at you like a perfect Tom Brady spiral.
With your knowledge and humor, you could bring levity to this dilemma like you have with “Act Like A Lady.” You told Tyra this on Tuesday: “I’m not an expert on relationships, I’m an expert on manhood.”
Enlighten us guys with this expertise. We need it.
You should consider it. Suggested title: “Be a Man, Enough Said.”
P.S. You’re right about closure. You give yourself closure. Not someone else or his/her dancing or loaded words.
- *A re:virgin is a person who has given up the cookie before, but has closed the jar until “marriage.”