40. Kerry Washington

Dear Most Gifted and Extraordinary Kerry:

I recently told my NSS Ex-Girlfriend that I was aiming for the sky. Well, here I am writing on your cloud.

I don’t have any corny lines (save the one I just spit), so I’ll just come right at you: I’d like to take you out some time and talk politics with you. You are politically engaged, right? I want to know what you’d think of Sarah Palin if she weren’t president of the National Blame-aholics Organization.


Elegance. Intelligence. Talent. Charm. Grace. Need I say more?

You may not agree with her views, but do you think Palin could challenge Obama in 2012 if she realized how ignorant she looks blaming others for her problems? Can’t you see the Republican Party falling apart if it doesn’t get it together soon?

But we don’t have to focus on politics.

I want to know what your dream role would be. I’d love to write a screenplay around it, and tag-team an Academy Award-nominee worthy film starring you in the next few years. I’m also curious to see what it was like for you to work with Chris Rock. He’s a genius, and it would be an honor to meet him.

If you say yes to us getting together, we can stay out of the paparazzi’s view, if need be. We can just sit around and play Chess, Scrabble, Monopoly or the card games Speed or War. We can make dinner. I know, a man who cooks. I’m about a B-plus in the kitchen.

Maybe we could go to a museum, planetarium or a baseball game. Or maybe we could just talk … (think: Jill Scott or Will Downing).

I’ve suggested some of my favorite things to do. So as you can tell, I’m flexible. I don’t even mind that you make more money than I do. That’s the one of the last things that should concern a real man.

Anyway, you can get back at me whenever. If you don’t, maybe I’ll just go Darius Lovehall on you (think: “Love Jones”), buy a couple of albums I know you’ll like and show up at your front door (Who really does that?). Then again, maybe not. I have no desire for a restraining order or a stalking charge.

Either way, I must say this: No disrespect to Beyonce (she’s fine), but you’re the pinnacle sister every black man should be salivating over and every black woman should aspire to be like after Michelle Obama. I mean, what self-respecting man wouldn’t want a woman who can rival Beyonce’s looks and go toe-to-toe with the pundits on Real Time with Bill Maher and Larry King Live?

Can you see why I admire you so?

See you in my dreams,


P.S. You don’t need the weave. Take a cue from First Lady Obama.
P.S.S. Jill Scott’s A Long Walk or Will Downing’s Maybe


22 responses to “40. Kerry Washington

  1. Kerry Washington is very beautiful. I remember seeing her back in the day as the around the way chick from ‘Save the Last Dance’, I think that’s the first time I took notice to her as an actress. She’s very ladylike and very classy. That alone enhances her physical beauty. Ok, ok, I won’t continue as I’m no lesbo, lol, good and funny post…

  2. thecomebackgirl

    “P.S. You don’t need the weave”

    And scene…

    lol. wow.

  3. @jlbd: I almost forgot about that movie. Yeah, she was quirky but still cute in “Save the Last Dance.” I wouldn’t even watch five minutes of it if it came on TBS. lol.

    @thecbg: hey, I’m honest. Even when it comes to a woman I adore. lol.

  4. yeahp!

    in “i think I love my wife”, I woulda did it with her. Hands down.

    this site is slick, the way it’s presented is genius.

  5. Keri is a beautiful lady!

  6. thecomebackgirl

    “this site is slick, the way it’s presented is genius.

    I agree. …i love the whole format..i wish i had of thought of it..first..won’t stop people from trying to copy, D, (including me LOL) but with anything else…only you can do YOU.

  7. @whyso: thanks for the kind words. And I’ve vegged out on “I Think I Love My Wife” at least 20 times just to watch Kerry move and listen to Chris Rock’s humor. I know that sounds bad. But it’s true.

    @thecbg: imitation is the best flattery. I just gotta try to take this thing to the next level. And the only way is to DO ME. “You just do you, I’mma do me, I’mma do me.” Ignorant as hell, but it’s fitting in this instance.

  8. So my guy had a specific scene featuring Ms. Washington saved to his DVR. Nothing pornographic, just her saying a line that was sooo seductive that I couldn’t knock him for it.

    And that’s all I have to say about this matter

  9. @gator


  10. @jlbd: you’re ignorant as hell for the MMFBAO part.

    @gator: what line from what movie … and if you’re at liberty, what friend if I know the person???

  11. Kim (you know which one)

    I adore Miss Washington. But about that weave comment…she may not *need* it, but perhaps she likes it? As a girl who routinely changes her hair (but not in grad school. no time. I’m lucky that I haven’t shaved it all in a fit of dissertation fury) I wholeheatedly agree with chickadees who want to keep it cute by throwing down some nice-looking, *low maintenance* style.

    Think about how much more natural she looks than Beyonce, who must shriek in fear everytime her roots start to grow in… or compare her to Kanye, who went so low-maintenance he looked like he spent all his money on those shutter shades and had no money for a trim…

    So Miss Washington, keep repping your fake (?), cute, hair. I still love ya, darlin’.

  12. @Kim: I don’t think you understand the negative power of the weave. I have a letter for women who wear weaves prepared. I’ll post it in a few weeks.

    I understand the positives as well. Even that they might stop a bullet or two (Google: weave, woman, bullet and Kansas City). I’m just not a fan of them on most women who can’t get a good one and those who will never let their real hair see the light of day.

  13. “She Hate Me”
    M. Brandon

  14. @TMCY

    I was about to write a long paragraph about weave, but I’ll save it for when you actually post the letter.

  15. @gator: that doesn’t surprise me one bit.

  16. Great post! I love Kerry Washington…she’s so sensual, cool and elegant…I would love to have coffee or tea..casual convo but then a bomb dinner.

    I saw her at the V to the Tenth in NoLA last year….took off her shoes and proceeded to dance…I like that she’s comfy in her own skin…and hair…that’s the best way to be 😉

    Another home run!

  17. I never really noticed her until “I think I love my wife.”

    She was ridiculously fine in that movie. And her character was perfectly created. Fine and just crazy enough to make you wonder if the nana was really worth all the trouble.

  18. @jaci: Thanks hun. I really can see her just kicking it with the people right after stepping off the Larry King Live set. That’s why I like her so much.

    @Bigman: There’s something about that combination of fine and “just crazy enough,” that gets us men in trouble like CR’s character in that movie.

  19. kim (you know which one)

    @TMCY: Trust me, as a woman, I know the battle many women have with whether to put one in to “fit in” at work, to feel “beautiful” – to essentially say that one’s own hair, isn’t “good enough.” The weave, rather than making you feel beautiful, can undermine your opinion of yourself in some cases, and make you dependant on a normativized standard of beauty that exlcudes a whole heckuva lot of people.

    But I also know life’s too short, and if you like it, you better go for it. B/c if a woman really does think it makes her feel better about herself, or gives her needed confidence, then she should go right ahead.

    from a girl who switches bwtn relaxers and braids on the regular…

  20. @kim(ynwo): I don’t disagree with anything you just wrote. I will only say that I look at a weave like I look at a nose job. I’ll save my other thoughts for next week, though when I post that letter.

  21. Depending on the weave, I sometimes wonder how baldheaded the woman really is.

  22. She was walking next to me on the way back to the Metro in DC after the Inauguration. Sweet as pie and nice, waving and talking to people.

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