46. My Play Mother Lynn

A Facebook status from a few weeks back: “Damon has too many friends & family members with March/April birthdays. You all’s parents took that summer love thing to heart.”

Dear Mom #3:

So I’m sitting here in your house writing to you. I’m here because I visited a church today not 10 blocks away from your house. I figured that I needed to stop by considering I haven’t seen you since Christmas.

It just so happens that for the second straight year I randomly dropped by on this day, April 5th. Forgetful me, for the second straight year it slipped my mind that today is your birthday. But I somehow ended up on Haskell Ave. right on cue.

Funny thing is, I should have remembered your birthday. You share it with my Not-So-Super Ex-Girlfriend (read the above status message again). But I didn’t remember your day.

So I’m writing this letter to make up for my forgetfulness. And actually, it’s one that needs to be written anyway.

Read the note in the picture. This is rule No. 1 on Haskell Ave.

Read the note in the picture. This is rule No. 1 on Haskell Ave.

See, you’ve been there for my family like few else have. When my brother and your son became best friends in the sixth grade, we grew into an extended family. I’ve known the security code to your garage door since 1996. I have free reign in your house so long as I put two bottled waters in the fridge for every one I take out.  Yes, I remember that rule. Yes, I remember breaking it constantly to the point of upsetting you.

Still, your kitchen is always full of food, and no one who steps foot in it misses a meal. And now that I think about it, I need to take better advantage of this benefit of being your pseudo son.

Seriously though, you can’t imagine how much of an influence you’ve had on the person my brother has become because he’s actually lived under your dominion. Our real parents are good people at heart. But they have issues on top of issues, and you provided him with a stable situation to abide in during some of the roughest periods of his life. I thank you for that because we all can see the man he’s become.

No doubt, I know you’re crazy too (you admitted it a few minutes ago, remember?). But who of us isn’t? Which one of us walking this earth doesn’t have his or her flaws.

For myself, I’m just thankful that I know that I can come to you with my real life issues and always walk away with sound advice. Trust, your logical thought process has rubbed off on me over the years, and I’m better for it.

I’m also better for having 24/7 access to your kitchen. The more I think about it, I will be over a lot more often. And I’ll try not to forget your birthday next year. I apologize. Again, Happy Birthday.

Love always,

Your Son Damon

P.S. It’s only fair that I actually help bring in groceries and take out the trash when I stop by. It helps offset those free meals, right?

The inside of the refrigerator belongs on MTV Cribs, and the crazy thing is, only one person lives in the house. But the food rarely gets wasted because of visitors.

The inside of this refrigerator belongs on MTV Cribs. The crazy thing is that only one person lives in the house. But the food rarely gets wasted because of a constant stream of visitors.


11 responses to “46. My Play Mother Lynn

  1. This makes me think of my Godmother. These days when I go home for a visit, I’m ALWAYS stopping by her house to eat. And she always knows why I’m there and she’s always happy to feed me.

    She’s why I’m a fat kid, as it is. 🙂

  2. thecomebackgirl

    im super duper afraid of calling anybody play mother, mother number 1, 2 or 3 LOL..that doesn’t pis!s your “real mother” off?

    • I read this comment to her from my phone tonight at dinner, and she laughed. I have my mom, a stepmom and my play mom … My mother is grateful for Lynn’s presence in my brother’s life and mine.

      What I’ve learned in life is that extended family is important. It truly does take a village … it just that the way America is nowadays, we’re all a bunch of nomads looking out for no one but ourselves.

      • thecomebackgirl

        I most def. agree it takes a village..but does it take a mother, a play mother, a pretend mother, a quasi mother?? all in name. To me “whats in a name” sorta kind of matters. I had a 8th grade teacher who most can attest was like our mom. We had “closed doors”, she spoke to us VERY honestly about “sex”, english, dangling participles and the like…i dunno the whole “play” mother thing has always bothered me. It could be just semantics.

        • IDK, if someone gave you access to the food in the second photo in the post 24/7 since you were 13, you might want to call that woman mom, too. … But seriously, when you’re grow that type of rapport with someone, and it’s genuine it works. I had a mean babysitter who whooped my brother and I, and she wanted for us to call her “Grandma,” like her kids. We called her Ms. “Whatever Her Name Was” because we didn’t respect her.

          You’re prolly right. It’s semantics.

    • @Nicki: Thanks. And this all really happened yesterday. No joke, which makes it that much funnier to me. We were sitting around the house just laughing at the silliness of it all while I was writing the letter. Great times.

  3. I call a number of my besties’ moms “Momma”, especially if I’m in her house (cause I know she’ll answer) or talking to her on the phone like “what’s up momma, what you cooking?”

    My best friend in the whole world I claim ALL her family . . . aunties, uncles etc. I don’t think I’ve ever called anyone Mr./Mrs Last Name since I was 9. She does the same at my house.

    My dude’s grandparents I call grandma & grandpa cause all my grandparents have passed on now.

    • I think it’s an ultimate sign of respect to show how much you genuinely do care about that person, and he/she care for you. …

      I can’t tell you how many people I call uncle/aunt that I’m not kin to … the list goes on and on … AND all of those people sincerely care about my well being.

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