FRQs: My Life

A classic R&B album if I've ever heard one.

A classic R&B album if I've ever heard one.

This is an ode to Asyoureditor, who has been by my side. She’s read/critiqued/edited most of the letters. If you don’t know, she loves all things Mary J. Blige. And if you don’t like Mary,  don’t tell her. She might cut you … with her eyes from the ATL. lol.

Here’s one of my fav Mary songs: “Be Happy” from the My Life album.

The Five Random Questions:

1. If an actor played you in the movie of your life and you got to choose him/her, whom would it be?

2. If you had to choose a current movie title, which one best fits your story?

3. What song would play at the end of the movie?

4. If you were the recipient of half of Madonna or Mel Gibson’s fortune (like his soon-to-be ex-wife will be), what’s the first thing you buy for yourself?

5. Who is your favorite comedian, and why?

Three links from “A Few Good Men”:

Offdwall … On the fast death of the slow dance.
SingleBlackMale … A hilarious take on forgetting people’s names.
VerySmartBrothas … On nicknames you give people.

Next week: I’m hitting on race a little. Sunday/Monday’s letter is to people who don’t understand why some blacks support Michael Vick — emphasis on “some.”

Deuces, D.

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63 responses to “FRQs: My Life

  1. 1. I’d pick Halle Berry, she’s biracial (like me) and she’s hot!

    2. Growing up Gray in a Black and White World (I copywrote that since I plan on making it the title of my memoirs so don’t try to steal it, LOL)

    3. Ummm this is a hard one, so many choices….it would have to be some upbeat song about accomplishing goals.

    4. A trip around the world stopping in about 15 countries (I have the list already planned out).

    5. I don’t really have a favorite comedian but if I have to choose I’ll go with Chris Rock because I’ve thought all of his stand-ups have been hilarious and extremely relevant.

  2. 1. Sanaa Lathan

    2.Forbidden Fruit, Forgiven Soul, Favored One

    3.Bittersweet Symphony – The Verve

    4.The house of my dreams.

    5.Chris Rock, because his humor is intelligent, real and everyone can relate to his jokes…
    runner up: Dave Chapelle, you shouldn’t have to ask why…lol

    • Sanaa … I have no words (aside from “damn, she’s fine.”) … is that the whole title or three different ones? dope nonetheless. … I feel like I’ve heard you talk about that song before, never heard it … on the house, smart … and read my answers for No. 5.

      • Sanaa is gorgeous and I’ve had people tell me that she and I have similar noses…lol. The name of the book is all three phrases together, it accurately describes the stages in my life that I’ve had to go through to realize that God has been carrying me the whole time like footprints in the sand. If you watch the movie Cruel Intentions that song is playing at the very end of it. I’ll email you the track. It’s one of the best alternative songs I’ve heard…

        • Just listened to it, and I’ve heard this song a million times, just couldn’t remember the name. Great song. And you know Cruel Intentions is in my top 20 movies of all time.

          • Wow! And to think that for the longest that movie was one of my guilty pleasures…it feels good to know someone else likes that movie as much as I do…They’ve tried to make a couple of sequels but they’ve all sucked. I think one of the main reasons I was drawn to that movie when it first came out is because I had a little crush on Ryan Phillippe. Now that I see he’s a dog and he cheated on Reese Witherspoon (one of my favorite actresses) the crush is gone…lol

            • I like the movie because I’m a huge fan of vengeance … whether people take action on their own or it’s some karma-like deal that God puts off on us …

              And these people are plotting their every word and action. All I can do is just laugh at how much foolishness goes down, and how screwy the situations are. And I think it’s brilliant. lol.

              • Oh definitely. It’s very well plotted out and little miss coke head Sara Michelle Gellar got hers in the end. I’m also a fan of movies that are unbelievably sad love stories…I don’t know why because I always cry but I have a fascination with two people who love each other in that Romeo and Juliet type of situation. I hated that Reese lost her love but she got his prized possession in the end and exposed that little twit for all the garbage that she was…

                • You know this, but it’s rare that a good movie ends with a “fairy tale” love ending. That “feel good” ish isn’t real. … Happily Ever After is work, and the more movies that showcase that fact, the better off we’ll be … But that won’t sale tickets, people love fairy tales.

  3. also, don’t steal my name: I’m writing a book one day, I promise…

  4. 1. a mix of jurnee smollett, anika noni rose, audra mcdonald and julia roberts. i couldn’t choose, but all these ladies exhibit grace, courage, substance and quirkiness….like me! 🙂

    2. was a novel first, but i’d say “their eyes were watching God”.

    3. Donny Hathaway’s live version of Stevie’s “Superwoman (Where Were You When I Needed You).

    4. a very lavish trip to experience the entire Montreux Jazz Festival. beachhouse next.

    5. i don’t really have a favorite, but for ol’ times sake, i’ll hafto say old school eddie murphy. “delirious” & “raw” go hard, as well as “party all the time”. had to make that a ringtone. 🙂

    • I’m in love with a few women in Hollywood, but Jurnee Smollett is near the top of my list. Most of the fellas sleep on her. But not I …

      I need to listen to the song “Superwoman” period, as well as the Donny version. ….

      Y’all are making me want to go somewhere with all these trips … lol …

      I totally upset with you for even typing “party all the time” … lol … you gotta come “mo betta” lol … Good answers though.

  5. 1. If I’m young Columbus Short. If I’m grown, Don Cheadle. Kansas City stand up. lol.

    2. Inside Man … good film, but I relate more so to the title itself: What’s inside of a man.

    3. Can’t be just one: Robin Thicke’s “Dreamworld,” BIG’s “Juicy,” Stevie Wonder’s “Visions” and finally, George Benson’s “This Masquerade” … (some long credits, I know).

    4. Knowing me, I’d probably go buy some Kenneth Cole dress shoes and a few matching ties. lol.

    5. Chris Rock, hands up and down. I should have to explain myself either. Dave Chappelle is a distant second. Then Lewis Black. (And JLBD, I didn’t copy, I promise. I wrote this before I posted it, but was out all evening.)

    • Man, my favorite episode of Chapelle’s Show is still the one where Wayne Brady turned gangsta…I’m sitting here at my desk about to bend over in laughter right now…

      • @jlbd: I just saw this for the first time … I haven’t laughed hard at a Chappelle Show skit than I did at that one …

        “Dave … Hoes … Hoes, Dave” … lol

  6. 1. If an actor played you in the movie of your life and you got to choose him/her, whom would it be?

    Thandie Newton. B/C she’s a great actor and we both have tiny features

    2. If you had to choose a current movie title, which one best fits your story?

    Not Easily Broken

    3. What song would play at the end of the movie?

    On Top of the World – T.I. and Ludacris

    4. If you were the recipient of half of Madonna or Mel Gibson’s fortune (like his soon-to-be ex-wife will be), what’s the first thing you buy for yourself?

    A stupendous Beach House in Southbeach! Miami here I come!

    5. Who is your favorite comedian, and why?

    Chris Rock…his standup is hilarious while he speaks on the things going on around us.

    and Marlon Wayans…I love his physical comedy.

    • Thandie Newton is a great actress. She had me all caught up in “Crash,” and she’s a beautiful woman. Great choice.

      And you’re right about Marlon Wayans, his physical comedy is good and funny. I’m shocked that everyone is on this Chris Rock tip, too.

      I really was expecting a Katt Williams or a Rickey Smiley … somewhere in here … lol.

      • Katt Williams is hilarious, Rickey Smiley…not so much….but Chris Rock is funny all the time, PERIOD. Katt Williams has had his corny moments, don’t ever watch ‘It’s Pimpin Pimpin’…you’ll be sadly disappointed… Rickey Smiley needs to realize that the Darius Bradford joke is just not funny anymore….

      • As far as longevity…gotta give it up for Chris. He comes hard on his standup everytime and lile someone else said he is relevant. I do have to give to Katt for this last one though. Pimpin Pimpin had me crying…especially Po Lil Tink Tink!

        • @Jada

          Have you seen American Hustle or the Pimp Chronicles? They are ten times funnier than Pimpin Pimpin….I think I chuckled with the Po Lil Tink Tink part but every sentence had the phrase ‘You gotta look out for number 1′;’ these mf’s be hatin’; waayy too much cussin’; etc..lol

        • LOL!! (yes, I used two exclamation points; deal with it)
          That Po Lil Tink Tink joke gets me every time.
          My two favorite jokes are the Michelle Obama joke (because she does look like she smells like Motions hair conditioner and cocoa butter) and the ADHD joke about his son (touche, my n***a, touche).

          • Yes…when he said Michelle smell like motions and coco butter I died! I was like that shole is what a black woman smell like.

            “What are you thinking about son”

            “RUNNING!”

            Hilare!

          • @asyoureditor: I’m gonna have to cut you … N-wording in the name of Katt Williams. lol. … I still haven’t seen Katt’s latest stand up. I did enjoy the Pimp Chronicles, though.

            Y’all need to check out Lewis Black … funniest white dude in America, per my standards. He’s the white Chris Rock.

            Talks common sense, but puts you in stitches in the process because of how true everything he says is.

      • No I haven’t seen those. But I think I’m going to have to check them out if they were better than the last one. Pimpin Pimpin had me in stitches. I might have to hunt those down and watch them this weekend.

  7. 1. Sanaa Lathan

    2. “Hav Plenty”

    3. “Hero” – Beyonce on “I Am…Sasha Fierce”

    4. 2 Homes – one in KC and one in MIA

    5. Chris Rock – he’s the truth and I would so vote for him to be president…lol!!

    • @Mal: You know, I considered Hav Plenty for my title … as homemade as the movie is, I will always appreciate the “rags to riches and I get the girl” tale … Plus, “40 Ounce of Love” is that jam … lol.

      I can dig the two homes and their locales … and I got a great chuckle at you saying you’d vote for Chris Rock for president. lol. Seriously, I’m still shocked that everybody is on the CR tip (including myself) …

  8. This comment isn’t in reference to the post but why the heck does my avatar look so angry?

  9. D.Scott, I was having a poopy day until I saw this post. Thanks so much. I really needed it. (29 days!!!—yes, three exclamation points; deal with it)

    1. I figure by the time I get to the point where the movie of my life would be interesting, Angela Bassett would be there to play me. Plus, maybe I’ll have her guns by then 🙂

    2. Almost Famous

    3. Mary J. Blige, Work in Progress (Growing Pains). You shouldn’t sleep on this track. It’s really, really good.

    4. The caveat “for myself” kinda effed up my plans. The first thing I’m doing is buying my daddy a house and making him quit his job. For me, I’m going on a six-month vaycay to Capetown, Venice, Paris, Tokyo, Morocco, London and Fiji (in that order).

    5. D.Scott, I don’ t know why you’re so surprised by the the Chris Rock love. I’ve always said that any life experience could be referred back to a Chris Rock joke.

  10. thecomebackgirl

    1.Gabby Union

    2. The Comeback Girl

    3. I’m not sure about the ending..its still a work in progress..the beginning would be Lalah Hathaway’s “Little Girl”..”Saturday’s and Soul Train, music feeds a budding mind…just a little girl in a big world”…

    4. And island…near bali.

    5. It varies each week..but ive always loved funny women, Chelsea Handler is who Im digging now.

    • @cbg: Gabby would be perfect for you. The title is fitting. … i gotta listen to this Lalah track now …

      I can dig the island … and I need to youtube Chelsea Handler … my favorite women comedians are Margaret Cho, Tina Fey (clearly), Sommore (sp?) and Kathy Griffin.

      Kathy Griffin might be the funniest of them all because she doesn’t care what comes out of her mouth …

    • I love Chelsea Handler! My fiance cannot understand why I find her funny, but her sarcastic wit is genius….

      • thecomebackgirl

        @ JLBD

        exactly..and to me I also think her and Tina really sent a message that funny women didn’t have to be gay or unnattractive or self-depricating when overweight.

        you could be very sexxay AND very funny.

        i think even black female comedians have to take sides against ultra femininity and ultra funny…Tina and Chelsea prove you can be both..

        • I agree 100%. My fiance used to do stand-up comedy and he used to say that black female comedians are not funny because all they talk about is s3x, fellatio, and self-degredation to get a laugh. That’s why I like Aisha Tyler because she’s a beautiful black woman that is funny and talks about a large realm of things. It’s harder for women already but Tina Fey and Chelsea Handler are both very attractive and hilarious. Kathy Griffin is funny but she always looks pulled and pinched together kind of like a clown. I know she’s had alot of plastic surgery but she still looks very strange…lol

  11. 1. actress: tie between gabrielle union & nia long. (folks always say i resemble gabby and remind them of nia)

    2. movie: love jones–reason why i really contemplated moving to chicago. my love life mirrors darius and nina, vinyl records are my weakness (even tho i still don’t own a record player), and spoken word/grown-n-sexy lounges are waaaaaaay better than the phunky club scene.

    3. song at the end of love jones: ‘AS’ by stevie wonder–greatest written love song of all time. reveals wonder’s genious gift.

    4. half of the fortune: my own island

    5. fav comedian: dave chappelle–he makes me cry, genuinely loves The Roots, and came into himself & manhood once he realized how he was being a token. that kind of courage is difficult to find in the society we live in where too many brothas don’t mind having a price tag around their necks.

    • @naturalnubian: Dag, so LJ is your fav movie. lol. It’s in my top five, and the only all black movie that is. I love everything about it but Nina’s friend who gives horrible advice that breaks up the relationship ….

      And I didn’t know “As” played at the end of Love Jones. Doesn’t Xscape’s “In The Rain” play as the credits start rolling? I’ve seen it a million times … lol

      And you’re right about Chappelle’s epiphany. Dude realized that he can’t be a “token” of sorts, and allow people to laugh at him, instead of with him.

      I love that he lives on a farm in the middle of Ohio. One day, I’m just going to drive by it, just because I can … and tell my kids that one of the smartest men in America choose to raise his family here, away from all of the ignorance and bs. lol.

      • i’m saying if i had to choose what song would play at the end of my life movie, i’d choose stevie’s ‘AS.’

        but how is LJ the only black move in your top five?? have you forgotten ‘coming to america??’

        • I’m with you now …

          On my top five, I’ll list them at some point as a vignette … but trust, CTA is top 10. I just don’t do “happily ever after” endings too well.

          I do real. LJ is still top five for me because I feel like it cultured my simpleton high school self on a million different levels. … And I refuse to believe that Nina and Darius ended up together. Absolutely refuse. lol

  12. 1. Malinda Williams

    2. not sure… my story is unique.

    3. Ms. Fat Booty

    4. pay for the college my scholarship doesn’t cover and buy stocks while they’re low.

    5. Dave Chapelle… cause his humor is my humor, every time.

    • All I can say is: “Ms. Fat Booty” … wow … I pray you’re not putting it on people that thick when it comes time for your movie to end. Cause that chick is the second coming of Medusa … lol.

  13. 1. Omar Epps. Dude doesn’t look like me, but I like his range of roles and he is a dude not sweated over by the masses.

    2. Manifest Destiny

    3. “Didn’t Cha Know” by Erykah Badu

    4. Managing Wealth For Dummies

    5. No competition in any realm of humor (delivery, intellect, content, etc): Redd Foxx

    • @offdwall: good answers … especially “didn’t cha know” and Redd Foxx… gotta pay homage to the late greats, and Redd definitely was great.

    • ‘Didn’t Cha Know’ is one of the coldest songs ever made and definitely Erykah Badu’s best hands up and down!

    • As a matter of fact ‘Mama’s Gun’ is one of my top five favorite albums ever, PERIOD. Not just my top five fav Neo Soul, but top five period!

    • I’ve sweated Omar since Juice! And you’re right…his range is awesome, and another thing I love about him is that he has acting with EYES down pat. That man can tall you all his thoughts with a simple look….whoo boy.

  14. Amen jlbd….. I completely agree that Mama’s Gun was one of the best R&B albums ever made. I had to buy that daggum CD three times because I was wearing them out.

  15. 1. If an actor played you in the movie of your life and you got to choose him/her, whom would it be?

    Forrest Whitaker. The guy’s a hell of an actor, and I resemble him a bit.

    2. If you had to choose a current movie title, which one best fits your story?

    Training Day. Because sometimes I feel like Officer Hoyte.

    3. What song would play at the end of the movie?

    “Take A Minute” by K’Naan.

    4. If you were the recipient of half of Madonna or Mel Gibson’s fortune (like his soon-to-be ex-wife will be), what’s the first thing you buy for yourself?

    A nice home and a black Audi.

    5. Who is your favorite comedian, and why?
    The early 90s Martin Lawrence. Before he got old and fat, nobody of our generation was rawer – or funnier

    • The Last King of The Northland… lol, there aren’t too many people who’ll get that one, but it’s classic. … the Officer Hoyte thing is scary, I’m wondering who’s playing Alonzo?

      i don’t know your song, but i’ll check it out … the Audi is a nice car, too expensive on the repairs, though. One of my boys swears by them, though. … and I have no words for your love of Martin aside from to say that You So Crazy is nothing but the truth.

  16. 1. Sanaa Lathan…she’s just got a charismatic aura to her that makes me think she would represent me well.

    2. Waiting to Exhale…no explanation needed.

    3. “The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill”…a perfect summary to my sorted saga.

    4. I would buy my mom whatever house and car she wanted…the gift in that for me is the big pretty bright white smile and that teary-eyed look she gets when I’ve done her proud.

    5. Chris Rock is the man, but right now, God seems to have a stand-up routine that tops all of Chris’ “big piece of chicken” and “educated lap dance” jokes.

    • @moni: there are a few of y’all on this Sanaa tip. Kinda catching me off-guard. Never realized that she was the “it” girl for so many … your movie title might work for every person who has posted. lol …

      You can’t mention that Lauryn. it ain’t fair. You’re gonna make me have to listen to it now — the whole album …

      And you’re right, God’s stand-up routine has done a number on me the last few months that’s quite mind-blowing. And his comedy is a little more real than Rock’s is, which is pretty real in its own right. lol.

      • I guess the lyrics of that song are just so fitting to my own experiences and my own ‘miseducation’ about life and what I am supposed to do with mine…

        • I woke up listening to the song … and again, you’re right. It’s fitting. Unbelievably fitting … but it’s definitely believable.

  17. I’m late, but here we go….

    1. Queen Latifah–everyone says we look alike so….

    2. Changing Lanes (for the title only)–I feel like most of my life has been on auto pilot, and im just now getting in the right lane and doing what I wanna do. (Plus I had to pick a movie w/ sam jackson, lol)

    3. My Way (Frank Sinatra version)

    4. A brand new Altima. It’s good enough for Chris Rock, and it’s good enough for me….

    5. Speaking of…Chris Rock obviously and Mike Birbiglia for never failing to make me laugh and for doing the best impersonation of a white guy impersonating a black guy impersonating a white guy.

    • No prob on the lateness. Good answers/comments are always welcome.

      Changing Lanes is in my top 20 fav movies because of all of the irony. … “I Did It My Way” is one of my anthems. … this whole Altima craze is hilarious … and I don’t know that Birbiglia name, but I need to google him, huh?

  18. 1. Kerri Washington

    2. She’s Gotta Have It

    3. Creator by Santigold

    4. I’d use the money for a trip to Maldives and Croatia. Also, help my parents rebuild their B&B and expand.

    5. Richard Pryor. I loved his cameo as Sharp Eye Washington in Uptown Saturday Night. Hilarious.

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