Good Facebook Status Dialogue: Here’s an intriguing method that might help you determine whether or not you’re hood. Rob Weaver, a hallmate from my freshman year who runs Beware of Crazy Thoughts, challenged his Facebook friends to a game of “fill in the blank” a few weeks back:
You might be ghetto if you think [fill in the blank] is/are sexy.
The responses …
MWF: Green, pink, purple or orange hair
RW: Stiletto Timberland boots, being over 170 lbs and wearing halter tops or rhinestone fingernails
DSS (me): a cornrowed head
SDC: Gold teeth
LS: fighting before (procreating)
MB: back fat
DSS:24-inch rims on a car worth less than the wheels
RW: Neck Tattoos
DSS: Face Tattoos
DSS: Al Sharpton’s hair
SLB: Heyyy … I have a Tattoo behind my ear??? Lol!
SLB: Thongs showing
RW: wearing shades in the club
RW: earrings that say “SEXY”
RW: those flip flops with the flower on the top
DSS: wearing color contacts when you already have hazel eyes
RW: Motor Car Clubs
MB: multiple pitchers of Kool-Aid in the fridge (purple and red are a must)
RW: Guys who wear big collar and cuff shirts
SLB: wearing color contacts with non-prescription glasses.
DSS: wearing a bulletproof weave (Google: Kansas City, weave, women and bullet)
SLB: Oooooh! Ur too silly for that one! LOL!
KP: Saying conversate in an attempt to sound educated.
DSS: women who wear skinny jeans with a pack of Newports in the back pocket.
DSS: Titty tattoos.
Same thread a week later:
Another commenter: wait a minute … i have titty tattoos, i wear rhinestones on my nails when i feel in that mood and i wear my shades in the club so what you trying to say or anybody lol.
DSS: … that a person might be ghetto if — and “might” and “if” are operative words — he or she thinks anything on this list is sexy. Sexy, yet another operative. lol.
In preparation for tomorrow’s letter, a late addition to the list:
DSS: DJ Unk’s song “Don’t Hide It, Divide It.” …
DSS: and 27. Cotton-Picking Time for throwback sake.
Feel free to add to the list in the comments. And as you can see from the picture above, blacks aren’t the only ones who do “ignorant/hood things,” please feel free to share things that aren’t on this list as well.
I’ll give you a few: “using the n-word as slang” or “eating at McDonald’s every day” or “chewing with your mouth open” or “spoilers or those super loud mufflers that sound like jet engines.”