“Get your tux ready.” ~ my brother to me after he recently proposed to his now fiancée.
I planned on writing this later in this project. But your recent engagement hastened the delivery.
What I’m about to say is something you clearly know through my life’s actions. But I need to say it anyway:
I love you like no other. You can look up the difference between agape and phileo loves, and break them down. But above all, I’d give of myself for you. Whether it’s my next to last dollar or a kidney, I’d do so with little hesitation.
I say that knowing you’d do the same for me. You’ve been there for me in my darkest moments and haven’t needed a why to understand that you needed to be there. You’ve stood there in my proudest moments, and smiled greatly like any sibling should. I’m grateful for these things, and I’m sure that if you look back you can see that I admire you in the same way. If you can’t see that clearly, know that I’m proud of you.
And it’s crazy, because we loathed each other for the first 17 years of your life. We fought so much over the television in the living room (when there were four working TVs in the house) that Mom actually assigned us days to control that tube. You admit that you’re the reason why I moved to Dad’s before I entered sixth grade, not Dad’s contrived notion of a boy needing a man to be a man (although it did sound good at the time).
Somehow, we’ve made it. We haven’t had a serious argument/fight since I came home from my first semester of college (We fought over a television … Don’t worry, I won’t call you out … lol). The only thing we quarrel about now is the Mizzou/Kansas football rivalry. For the most part, even that’s civil, save Thanksgiving dinners.
For this, I’m grateful. We’re the same person in so many ways. We’ve confused Mom and former girlfriends on the phone because we sound that much alike. But we’re vastly different. You live by the Dave Matthews Band (I’m listening now) whereas I have an entire Brian McKnight catalog.
Still, I’m glad that most things between us are just understood, and don’t necessarily need to be said. And most conversations can be sweet and simple. It makes our relationship that much easier.
But I feel I need to say the following, and I want you to study these words carefully for your own good. It’s my one pieces of advice to you as you traverse the rocky waters of heading a family:
Love your soon-to-be wife and child(ren) with an undoubted fervor and passion that is a radiant example for all. In other words, the way Jesus loved the church (Go read Ephesians, Chapter 5 … especially the 25th verse).
I can’t say it any better than that. I’ll stand behind you as your best man on the day you wed your bride. I’ll be full of joy because you’re going to give your son something we never had: an unbroken family.
Do your part to make it work. For you. For your bride. And for your son.
Your Big Brother
P.S. I still find it absolutely hilarious that you look like you’re at least 37, and people think I’m 22. All that, and you’re still two years younger than I am. I know your bald head has something to do with it.
P.S.S. Brian McKnight’s Cherish … Dave Matthews Band’s “Where Are You Going”