Dame’s note: Cicely aka asyoureditor has been riding tough with me, editing most of the TMCY to keep me from (messing) up. And without her, trust that I would. She can write if she feels so led. So here’s Cicely’s first stab at a TMCY letter. Enjoy.
Dear May 17-23,
Yes, I’m talking to you. If I were a betting woman, I would have lost my house and my car so much money because of you. My father is a betting man, so thanks for the late payment on our Sprint bill.
You—last week—decided to say, “Hey, American public. I know you like these sure things, but, you know what, here’s a little salt in your sugar shaker.” I’m talking about killing King James’ winning streak, shorting the sexiest best dancer on “Dancing with the Stars” of first place and preventing the rise of America’s first gay Goth Idol.
So, what is it? You don’t like it when people have something to count on? You like seeing faces like this
My week of letdowns pretty much began Sunday with my adventure to the airport and three flight delays (thanks, Mother Nature, for all the rain 😦 ). Then came Tuesday’s “Dancing with the Stars” result show. No one expected the world’s most popular dumpee to win the show. But, seriously, the teenage gymnast? By “the narrowest margin in ‘Dancing with the Stars’ history,” notNastia Luken beat SATC’s naked neighbor. I was hurt, but could almost see that happening because of the “America’s-sweetheart” angle Shawn Johnson had going.
Then came Double Whammy Wednesday. I understand that LeBron and the boys have been on a crazy high lately. Maybe, in the spirit of competition, they needed to be knocked down a peg. But while watching the game on Wednesday, I saw the Cavs just beating up on the Magic in the first half. I decided the game wasn’t worth my time (plus, I was out with friends and there was wine to be consumed).
Also, because I was out Wednesday, I missed the American Idol finale.
Editor’s note: I’m not a huge AI fan. I’m a fan of all things pop culture. The first few episodes failed to grab my attention. But I’ve heard Kris and Adam sing and, therefore, can be a judge about who I want to be my American Idol (a la Ryan Seacrest).
I didn’t find out about the travesties of Wednesday night until Thursday morning. So, tell me, May 17-23, what is that you have against Adam Lambert? Is it the gelled hair? The black nails? The man’s love of all things “Wicked”?
To add insult to injury, you allow one of the most-anticipated weddings in CW history to go on. No, not tall broody guy and silly, over-emotional girl from “One Tree Hill.” Melanie and Derwin finally got hitched. And instead of allowing us a chance to savor their first year of marriage while taking on the big leagues, you pull the rug out from under us and say, “That’s all folks.”
The pain is over from watching my favorites fall to second (Gilles, I still want to give you a hug), or just fall off completely. But the sting of not being able to count on sure things is going to sizzle in my side for a while.
Week of May 17-23, you sucked—like a Eureka vacuum and a $5 crack whore on her favorite pipe.
With a grudge in my heart,