Note: I’m double posting today because of what I saw while watching the Cavs game last night. It’s an emergency. If you get a sec, still answer the FRQs in the previous post.
To: 3. Kanye West’s Hair
Date: set to send on Tuesday, 17 Mar 2009
From: Damon <thismayconcernyou (at) gmail (dot) com>
Subject: RE: 3. Kanye’s Hair ATTN: Shawn Carter’s Follicles
Dear Kanye’s Hair:
Seeing as how you got Kanye to taper you down, we all know that you got my letter to you. I thank you for your diligence and persistence. It paid off, and now you look the part, and Kanye no longer looks like a 2yK version of Mr. T.
But that’s not why I’m writing to you again. I actually have a small favor to ask:
Would you please forward my original letter to you to Shawn Carter’s follicles? Did you see what they looked like on his head last night as LeBron James extended the Cleveland Cavaliers season for another two days?
It’s apparently a rapper-see-rapper-do hip hop world, huh? (think: Vocoder)
Seriously, someone in QuickenLoans Arena had to have a Cavalier shear or two that some Edward Scissorhands wannabe could have taken to Jay’s head before TNT started in with all its cameo shots. And Beyonce wasn’t there? It kinda makes me question what’s really good? Did Bey tell Jay “to the left, to the left” and Jayonce just hasn’t shared that info with the world yet?
No joke, Jay’s follicles look that rough. That unkempt. That uncouth. That unnecessary. Seriously, I can hear their Song Cry.
So they, his follicles, need to hear my cry for you, Kanye’s hair. The message in it is very clear. I mean, look at you and the person with whom you share DNA now? We “can’t tell you nothing.”
Well, unless you’re the South Park writers. Yeah, they kinda put a plastic bag around your cousin, Kanye’s ego, and caused him to die a 30-minute slow death. Fish sticks. Yeah, that was murderous.
Anyway, if you could really read, you’d know that I hate forwards. But this is one worth sending. Please oblige my request. It’s a hip hop emergency.
Dame (Definitely not Dash)