Celebrity Twitter Rules

The Twitter explosion is in part due to celebrity use of the social network. It’s kind of like being able to glad hand a celeb in public for the first time, except in a virtual sense. It’s cool because some celebs humanize themselves, and talk back. Others don’t.

This all comes with plenty of annoyances for real people. So I have consulted a few of my tweetpeeps about the annoying things celebs do on Twitter and have come up with a few rules. If a celeb follows these guidelines, he/she is guaranteed to make people at least think he/she could be a decent human being. Here goes:

1. If you cannot type or write in legible English, hire someone to tweet for you. The one thing worse than a person writing in an open forum or social network and unknowingly using bad grammar (especially when attempting to appear intelligent) is a celeb doing the same thing with a plethora of people watching. Besides, you can afford it and it would funny to see “Professional Tweeter” on someone’s resume.

2. Never tweet in the third person. You sound pretentious enough speaking in the third person. Taking the time to type out your own name to make a statement that should start with an “I” is, in Twitter speak, unnecessary. Remember, you’re limited to 140 characters and “I” equals one character. Your name … has more.

The best reply I've received this week on Twitter came from Tia because of this picture. lol.

The best reply I've received this week on Twitter came from Tia because of this picture. I won't complain.

3. Follow more than six people. Following two people — your sister and your manager — is a surefire sign that you’re on Twitter to self-promote, and for no other purpose. If you’re trying to tell the world that you’re not interested in what anyone else thinks, Twitter isn’t for you. Go build a Facebook fan page. If you’re trying to tell us that you don’t like reading, I suggest you Google “Read A Book, Youtube.” Then click,Β watch and take heed.

4. Don’t tweet about how you’re excited to reach [insert number] of followers. Don’t ask for followers, either. You’re a celebrity, not a panhandler. ActTweet like it.

5. When you’re emotional or upset, block Twitter from your phone and your computer… or just don’t tweet. If you don’t heed this, you’ll end up like Soulja Boy — and say that you’re done with rap (good riddance) and that you’re moving on to your other dreams (Hope they include you reading the “Miseducation of the Negro” until you memorize it from the dedication to the epilogue). Did I mention that Soulja Boy called the people who buy the majority of his music the not-so-well-thought-out version of “saltines” in his recent screw-the-world Twitter rant? Not cool. Next time, just pull a Chappelle and go to Africa, and stay there, please.

6. If you say something stupid, and people call you on it, admit that you flubbed with grace, @tourex. We all make mistakes, right? Know that we little real people value humility. That means when you err, own up to it. Just note that it’s not the best idea to admit your flaw while simultaneously trying to make another point to make yourself seem intelligent, @tourex. We know you’re smart. Try sincerity … it works.

7. Reply to some non-celebs that tweet you. It could be as simple as a smiley face. I don’t use them because that would be a violation ofΒ  Man Law Section 10, Article 186.3. But @tiamowry made my week by replying to my simple compliment with a smiley face. This humanizes you.

8. If you’re not known for saying anything profound, don’t try it on Twitter. If you’re best known for whaling like a wounded puppy about how you wake up and flick a switch to turn yourself on at 1 p.m. or anything similar to that, stringing together inspirational tweets for your followers isn’t your lot in life. Just stick to saying “Get Money!” 20 times a day. It’s more believable. Again, stay in your lane.

One rule for followers of famous people: If they don’t respond to you, don’t get upset. It makes you look like the fanatic Stan. You know, the one Eminem wrote the song about.

Other small people: Is there anything else celebs do via social networks that irks you? What celebs do you enjoy following?

Tweet this. or share it on Facebook.

Oh yeah, you can follow me on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/thismaycy


51 responses to “Celebrity Twitter Rules

  1. Hey, y’all.

    @damon: Great post. Love it.

    One additional guideline I’d add is: Actually tweet every now & then. Some celebs (or their people) set up the accounts & never send out any messages. (Guess this could go with your #3?)

    My favorite guidelines are numbers 1, 6 & 7.

    #1 I wouldn’t be surprised to see this on someone’s resume…maybe a professional tweeter for a celebrity, yes but not for a company or club promoter.

    #6 Agreed. Especially for @ToureX and @EHasselbeck.

    7. I love when they actually respond & engage in conversation, polls, opinions, etc. Some celeb tweeters are really good with it. btw…some of my favorite ‘celebrity’ tweeters are @EpiphanyGirl, @DreamHampton, @TamekaRaymond & @johncmayer, @johnlegend & @_maxwell_, @StarJonesEsq, @TiaMowry & Ricky Smiley.

    Who are yours? I wonder how many celebs have “anonymous” accounts and tweet all day, everyday under the guise of anonymity. Hmm…

    • I started to list some of my fav celeb & pseudo-celebs tweeters in the post, but I figured I’d save it for the comments:

      @danamo @GStephanopoulos @mindyskaling @jemelehill @bomanijones @epiphanygirl @johncmayer @jamthedirtybird @basseyworld @mortreport @rolandsmartin @questlove @racheltrue @McCainBlogette @dreamhampton @imogenheap @JPosnanski @marshaambrosius @marclamonthill @tourex

      that’s enough to pick from. And yes, I still follow Toure because he still says some relevant stuff, and can provide for a good debate at times.

      • @damon: We follow a lot of the same people. I think I get a lot of them from your #FFs. πŸ™‚

        I also still follow both @ToureX & @EHasselbeck although they (& others) drive me crazy from time to time.

        I would include @questlove & @JuneAmbrose under my #7 above…they’re good at tweeting & engaging others as well.

        Others that I forgot are Erykah Badu (@fatbellybella)
        Eric Roberson (@MusicFanFirst)

        I don’t follow @IAmDiddy but I saw it RT’d several times last night that Mary J. Blige is on now…@MJBdaMVP

  2. another great post damon..

    twitter is a new version of people watching and you get to find out that “celebrities” (i use quotations because i question rather you should call yourself a celebritiy if you are not at least a B list one [see reality actors]

    i cannot stand when “celebrities” are setting follower goals.. who cares? not me.. it doesn’t make you seem any cooler to me.. i do not go to twitter and look followers and say.. damn they have to be hot look at all these followers!

    i don’t follow a lot of “celebrities” but i often visit their pages(i call it “tweet-surfing”) and i chuckle at some of their tweets.. most of them suffer from delusions of grandeur.. and i hate that most of them don’t respond to constructive criticism but will respond and RT people kissing their unworthy hind parts..

    also i think i missed the memo on smiley faces.. cause i use them all time :^) Haha.. great read

    • @brandon:

      My dude Chris Bosh and Charlie V. have a bet going right now to see who can get to 50K followers … and because it’s a gimmick to it, the bet, I’m OK with it. Plus, I actually know Bosh from back in the day…

      But yeah, the random “follow me” is like, “Seriously? For real, you want the quarters out my pocket, too?” lol.

    • @brandon: I agree; I placed “celebrities” in quotes too because some of them are only celebrities in their minds.

  3. Awesome tips! I don’t follow many celebs, haven’t seen any law breakers yet but I will keep an eye out for them and direct them to your blog for help πŸ™‚

  4. I follow a few celebrities but I’m mainly on twitter because I like the informational links that a lot of people post and because someone is always going to make me laugh. I’ve found most of the non-celebrities I follow are way more entertaining than celebrities. I do follow Solange, a few comedians and a few rappers all based on interesting tweets that one of my real friends retweeted.

    Speaking of your rule for people following celebrities. I was “tweet-surfing” (okay maybe cyber stalking) this person I think is a habitual liar and I saw that she had a lot of @ comments to this one professional athlete. If you would have read all of the things she was writing you would have thought he was actually replying but when I clicked on his page he hadn’t. She was just tweeting him over and over with no response. I’m sure he thinks she’s crazy.

    • @Tam: I agree that Twitter is great for information sharing. I learn a lot of breaking news first on Twitter & THEN hear about it on TV or read it at an online news site.

      You’re right that MANY of the ‘regular’ folks are more entertaining than the celebrities, esepcially some of the ‘everyday’ folks with blogs.

    • @tam: For real, sitting up and constantly tweeting a celebrity who isn’t responding is almost like sitting outside his/her house.

      But a lot of people do it because they can … I guess i’ve gotten to the point where I’ve met enough of them over time that I keep my emotions in check, even in twitterville (save Tia Mowry).

      also, i think it’s funny that the “funny” celebs on Twitter, aren’t that funny to me. The only one that keeps me in stitches is Mindy kaling because her brand of humor is so dry, and she’s actually a writer, too.

    • People who reply to celebs ad nauseum with no reply from them concern me. My first thought is “do they know we can tell they’re not getting a reply?” I really think they don’t realize that.

      I will reply to celebs I follow when I think it’s necessary but some I know never respond to non-celebs and so I don’t reply to them.

      • @asmith: I never expect a response from a real celeb … that’s why I was so shocked when Tia replied …

        Hell, I was shocked when Spectacular replied to me. lol. But hey, he’s real..ly swaggalicious and coontastic.

        • I should clarify that I don’t mean they need to reply to me, but you can tell those who will make good faith efforts to reply to some people and those who won’t… it’s those who won’t that I don’t see the point in replying to.

          This reminds me of Brandy replying to a RT I did in response to her asking if she and Ray-J should do a show… I’m the BIGGEST Brandy fan… I’m a stan… and the RT was a negative one. I thought — of COURSE she’d respond to this negative RT when I’m a huge fan… but hey, she responded.

  5. I’m not on Twitter because I tried it for a few weeks and it got on my nerves.

    I have read celebrity tweets on gossip columns and things like that. My main concern with them is the spelling and the depressed tweets. Sure we love to know a celeb is human, but when you write sad tweets after we know you’ve broken up, it just makes you look like you are crying out for help (see: Jessica Simpson)

    • @Nicki: What got on your nerves about it? The only thing that sometimes gets on my nerves about it is having the messages come to my phone via text. I only do this for a select few but sometimes when they are on a ‘tweet’ roll my phone is going off non-stop…but when that happens I just text “off” to Twitter until I’m ready for it to be back on…lol.

      • It was like too many conversations going on at once… It was frustrating me. lol.

        • Additionally, I just never had time keeping up.. so I ended up reading to catch up and that was taking too much time.

          Plus I really never saw anything “interesting,” enough to hold my attention.

          I ended my subscription after two weeks, I think.

        • @Nicki: This is part of why I like it…I like the multiple conversations at once. I even like the random tweets when there really isn’t a conversation going on just someone tweeting something completely random.

    • What did Jessica Simpson say? There’s no way in hell I’d follow her on Twitter … that’d be a waste of my eyesight on her words.

      • Thing was Tony dumped her the day before her 29th birthday where she had a Barbie & Ken theme planned for the two of them.

        She said something about “peace.” It just sounded dreadful.

  6. Three words: Twitter is pointless.

    No offense to anyone that uses it though πŸ™‚

    • @jlbd: Why do you think it’s pointless? Please explain … (this is about to get good)

      • Disclaimer: I’m not trying to offend anyone. I love all the TMCY bloggers and I don’t want anyone to think badly of me for saying this.

        Why in the h3ll do you want to follow somebody else? I don’t have time to be up in other folks lives when I have my own to be caught up in. I also do not want folks following my life knowing all my business. It’s pointless because I don’t see the POINT in following all these other folks who are human just like me and on their hustle just like me. Following them puts no money in my pocket but it likely will help generate money in theirs sometime down the line. Who really cares what celebrity just broke up with this person or is constantly trying to contact that person or just got done taking a dump. WHO CARES!!!!! ???????


        • @jlbd: See, I knew you were gonna miss the boat. Twitter is a lot of different things to a lot of different people. I think I had similar feelings before I dove in. I thought people were just constantly giving up their lives in a boring fashion.

          But no, people are actually sharing real information & links to good stories and blogs… and you get the pulse of what people are thinking as you’re watching or doing the same thing some times.

          It’s also an unbelievable networking tool if you know how to use it…. Sure, some people use it to literally follow celebs and “be in their business.”

          But most of the ones I follow give information, inspiration or a good laugh from time to time. Those three are reason enough to follow someone via Twitter. Be it a celeb or someone random who people like….

          • @damon Wow. We must have been typing at the same time & we said practically the same things. Funny. We are sold on Twitter. πŸ™‚

        • @jlbd I’m with Damon on this.

          One of my friends and I had a diatribe (briefly) in a youtube video*. But as I told her (maybe not this time) and other friends, I don’t spend a lot of my tweets on actually saying what I’m doing. Being a HUGE fan of stream of consciousness and always having thoughts to share, Twitter has proven to really help soothe that urge (I point out to my friends how many fewer random texts they get from me).

          Now having said that, I treat Twitter like I treat Jesus… I’ma live my life and do my thing and I can tell you how it works in my life, but I’m not trying to “convert” you. You gotta decide that for yourself… (not to make Twitter some deep life-changing thing, though). It’s worth a trial-run, though, because what it is for one is not always what it is for another.

          *Youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOLZ3XQ4kSk

    • “Three words: Twitter is pointless.”

      @jlbd: It isn’t entirely pointless.

      There is REALLY good information sharing on it. I learn about new blogs w/info relevant to stuff I’m interested in. I get breaking news here. There are giveaways/contests for tickets & stuff. I know people who use it for networking and it’s especially good for journalists, reporters, writers, poets, etc. because it gives different perspectives to write things from & gives them topics to consider writing on that they wouldn’t have otherwise considered…hearing about things from everyday people with everyday concerns.

      However, I can definitely see the potential for lawsuits (but then again I can with almost anything…lol) because I can see people claiming that their intellectual property was stolen, an idea they had, a book idea they had, a news series, etc….which begs the question, why would he or she share it in a public forum?

      • @Shawnta’ and Damon

        I knew I would get these responses from you two, and I ain’t mad atcha if you like it and see the point of it but I can tell you right now that I STILL don’t see the point of it. I have no desire to join it or take interest in the other ‘qualities’ it provides. Damon I didn’t miss the boat, I just nicely waited for it to pass me…

        • @jlbd: Which means, you missed it because you were supposed to get on it. lol.

          No, a lot of people are still hesitant. But if they ever learn the value of it and how to use it, they’ll jump on board. I actually got two older business people interested in it last night before a meeting …

          • @jlbd: I was hesitant at first. I initially joined Twitter when I was helping with Obama’s campaign and this is how the field office guy insisted on communicating. After the election, I stopped using it because I still hadn’t fully grasped it (& none of my friends was on it). It wasn’t until a few months ago that I got back on and have been using it at least once a day everyday since.

          • I’ll say this, I do think it’s a useful tool for anyone that is trying to promote a product or promote THEMSELVES. But outside of that I could care less about a celebrity going on a tirade (souljah boy); or two celebrities bickering over a man (tameka raymond and sandra rose); or someone deciding that they may want to end it all (bow wow); etc. It starts to get really dumb after a while and makes anyone that is caught up in following that mess look dumb.

            • But see, here’s the catch, you don’t have to follow any of those people … lol … I just learned about everything you just typed right now, save Soulja Boy (a respected hip hop journalist led his twitter followers to the Soulja Boy rant) …

              You can follow informative people. You can follow humorous people. You can follow your friends. You don’t have to follow Jessica Simpson…or Bart, Lisa or Homer …

    • natural nubian

      jlbd, i think u r my cyber-twin ’cause those are teh exact three words i always tell ppl ’bout how i feel re: twitter. if i wouldn’t follow strangers/celebs in real life, why would i sign up to do it over the ‘net?

  7. I have stopped trying to convince anyone of the benefits of Twitter. Either you see it or you don’t. I enjoy it, it has helped me get information on products before trying them, provided numerous laughs, led me to some great recipes and blogs, as well as allowed me one more way to keep in touch with my friends. Some people like these things, some people don’t and would rather use other sources to get this same information.

    The celebrity part is just one small aspect of Twitter that you can participate in or not.

    • “I enjoy it, it has helped me get information on products before trying them, provided numerous laughs, led me to some great recipes and blogs, as well as allowed me one more way to keep in touch with my friends.”

      @Tam: I agree with all of the benefits you listed.

  8. Most of my friends see no value in Twitter but I kind of like it. Twitter has come in handy as a way to kill time in the airport on many occasions, but it’s more than that for me. It gives me access to some very interesting news pieces and informational pieces that I probably never would have come across otherwise. Some of the celebrities are interesting, but most are either boring or just trying to self promote…meh…. It’s not something I have to do everyday but I’m glad Twitter exists and I’d like to see where it goes once it catches on more.

    • @klysha: I’m going to be curious to see how they upgrade the actual site and make it more user friendly. I do most of my tweeting out of TweetDeck …but they have to do something to that site to make it easier to navigate, and also go find some more servers or something so that Twitter stops crashing and going over capacity when something crazy happens.

    • @kylsha: I like it too…it’s helped me pass the time at different times when I’m bored.

  9. (Slow clap) As usual, on point.

    People who set follow goals (celeb or otherwise) get unfollowed. I’m not following people to up their numbers, I want to know what you think.

    I’m also trying to get back on my “real people” (i.e. non-celeb) twitter follow game. Those are the people who really enrich it all because they have a dialogue with you.

  10. @Damon, you’re right when you say it’s many things to different people. I used to intern for The District Downtown (for those who know CoMo), and several businesses have twitter pages to alert consumers of special deals. Shakespeare’s announced some random lunchtime deal once and within 20 min, the place was flooded w/ people. So the savvy person can use it well for networking and business.

    I however just like to see what’s on other people’s minds.

    But to the main point of this post, I like following interesting celebs, in that they post updates on their profession and random ramblings. I reply on occasion, and I expect no response BUT a lot of them do READ all the posts, so there’s satisfaction in that. I even got a direct message from one because I disagreed with him about hockey, lol. So it’s all in fun and not to be taken so seriously.

    My faves: @Lfitzgerald11, @jimmyfallon, @imamdiddy(Yes!), @driis(stringer bell), @mindykaling, @chasedaniel(although I have a hard time calling him a celeb…)

    • @kim:

      what is your handle? are you following me?

      Also, I didn’t know Chase was on Twitter. and @Mindykaling is one of the funniest people in America that too few people know about. The know her from the Office … but they don’t know that she writes some of that stuff, too.

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