XXVI. People Who Disrupt My Sleep

Ed’s note: Damon didn’t approve any of the exclamation marks or random capitalization in this letter. But he had to go along with it because he, too, has been guilty of a rude awakening of Cicely.

Dear Rude Awakeners,

Cc: The people who don’t appreciate my low tolerance for hunger

Everybody’s got their something. There are people who refuse to be disturbed during Real Chance of Love their favorite television program. Others won’t even acknowledge your existence during the fourth quarter of a close game. Me? Try interrupting my sleep, and I’ll give you the glare of death for what seems like a week.

Really, do you want to turn this ...

Really, do you want to turn this ...

This rule has been in effect since I turned 14. If you know me (and you do because you clearly have my number), you know this because I’ve told you before … …. repeatedly. Do NOT call me before noon… Ever!

I like to sleep. It’s one of my favorite things to do. I get excited about the prospect of lying down in my bed and snuggling underneath my covers. I like to curl up with a good book and situate my pillows just right so that I have the ultimate sleeping experience.

What I don’t like is for people to disrupt my REM cycle. I get aggravated and agitated. It’s almost like disturbing the Hulk. (I’m getting angry; you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.)

Many people can attest to this. Some of them aren’t friends now. But the repeat offenders are my family members, people I can’t chuck like an old pair of Chucks. I get that you have to wake up at the butt crack of dawn to get your kids ready for school (who, by the way, have to be there at 7:15, which I find outrageous). But just because you do more before 6 a.m. than most people do all day doesn’t mean I need to join you. Calling me at 7:30 (before my alarm clock has even gone off) will likely get you cussed out. I NEVER asked you for a wake-up call or to be my alarm clock.

into this?

into this?

So what is it? What is it you rude emeffers have to say that is SOOOOO important that waking me up before noon is a necessity? Just because you know I wake up at 8 a.m. doesn’t mean I want to talk to you. I don’t want to talk to ANYONE. At all!!!

I need time in the morning to gather myself. It takes me at least a couple hours after the first time I open my eyes to fully adjust to being awake.

Messing with my sleep is like messing with my emotions (a la Big Perm—er, um, Big Worm). Or better yet, messing with my sleep is like messing with my food.

Nothing tops disrupting my slumber, but a close second is keeping me from food. I’m generally a nice person and can handle just about anything. But I CANNOT take being hungry. The Hulk inside makes its presence known—from the grumbling in my stomach that sounds just like “HULK SMASH,” to the glare in my eyes and the snarl on my lips that say, “It’s time to feed Cicely.”

So, take notice, you rude, inconsiderate food/sleep snatchers: Don’t cross me or feel my wrath.

Sincerely,

Cicely

P.S. Really, I’m a nice person. But my patience is only so thin 🙂

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30 responses to “XXVI. People Who Disrupt My Sleep

  1. Ahhhh! I remember when I used to feel that way about sleep. Then I realized my mother earned the right to call me every Saturday @ 7:30 because she carried me nine months. Now the thought of sleeping a third of my life away petrifies me…

    Enjoy it while it lasts!

    • @Indy500: It’s not my father that’s waking me up. He knows better. It’s my cousins and occasionally my aunts. And I’m not always asleep. I’m getting to the point now where I can sometimes wake with the sunrise–sometimes. I just don’t want to be bothered with other people and their issues until after noon. I’m like Lucy from Peanuts. Don’t talk to me until the sign is hung.

  2. I’ve called Cicely while she’s sleeping, and it’s is not a good look. Trust me. Do NOT do this.

    It takes a lot to piss her off… but this is a quick way to do it …

  3. Hey, y’all.

    @Cicely: Good post. The photos & captions are funny. You’re right; we all do have our own thing. I’m like you in that I LOVE resting & sleeping. I love naps & encourage everyone I know to take them but I detested naps when I was younger…always thought I would miss something by being asleep.

    As for being disturbed while sleeping:

    I’m a very light sleeper so everything & everyone wakes me but I’m usually able to get back to sleep relatively fast. Since I’ve always been a light sleeper, I’m usually not disturbed too much by anything or anyone if/when I’m awakened.

    It’s funny because my sister, my husband and my old college roommates (all who have shared a room with me) say that I wake up like I’ve never been asleep…alert, energized and ready to go while they’re slowly waking up & still groggy. Yes, I’m a morning person. Sleeping in for me is staying in bed until 9:30 or 10:00 at the latest…and that’s pushing it.

  4. I completely feel you. My husband has gotten yelled at and had stuff thrown at him for waking me up from a good sleep.

    When it comes to sleep I’m not an extremely light sleeper but there is one thing that I cannot stand to be in my sleeping area and that is a ticking clock. I have unplugged/taken the battery out of other people’s clocks because they were ticking and I was trying to sleep.

  5. I am so serious about my sleep and my hunger too. I turn into a raging BEAST if they are messed with. My love for sleep is only one of the reasons I am scared to become a parent. lol

    • @NC

      I think about this too…I’m like, I don’t want any kids because I won’t get as much sleep!

      • Exactly! I have told my current S.O about this.. and he claims I don’t have to worry about it- he will take care of the kids so I can sleep. Girl, I PRAY he is telling the truth. lol

        • @NS

          That’s awesome…the problem I have is my fiance loves to sleep too, and he’s a heavier sleeper than I am….*sigh*, those baby days are going to suck!…lol

  6. So…what’s your number? We have a new kiddo at home…sleep? What’s sleep?

    My wife turns into She-Hulk when she gets hungry. Feed me now or die.

    • ‘My wife turns into She-Hulk when she gets hungry. Feed me now or die.”

      @Travis: This is funny because I’m the same way. I always say to my husband “Feed me, Seymour!!!” on nights when I am NOT cooking and we’re going out but not going fast enough. 🙂

  7. I dream of the sleep that you get! I can’t seem to stay asleep past 9:00am on a Saturday and thats including if we were out kicking it till 4am the night before! I hate my body clock and its need for 6:30am awakenings. I don’t even set my alarm clock anymore, I just get up and get ready for work and haven’t been late yet 😦

    • @Oates: It’s really good sleep, too. I can wake up, roll back over and fall asleep again if I have the time to. I still get stuff done, I just need to fell well rested.

    • @Oates: Same here…although I do have the occasional Saturday when I can sleep in until 10:00 but that’s about the latest. I’m usually up by 7:00 or 7:30. I LOVE naps though…probably because I get up so early.

  8. Cicely, this is funny because I too am very very passionate about my sleep. There have recently been two scenarios that have altered my sleep cycles but I can’t change them because they involve my cat and my fiance. My fiance likes to stay up late in his office messing around on his computer and I usually go to sleep early around 10:30 or 11 pm. He ALWAYS comes in the bedroom whenever he’s done with his tasks and turns the tv on. This erks me to no end and we have gotten into many arguments over his lack of consideration.

    Secondly, my cat likes to eat breakfast at 6am (his dish is automated) and after he eats he gets energized and likes to run around the house howling and jumping up the walls. He even likes to come into the bedroom and meddle with stuff on my night stand or on the floor which wakes me up every time. I don’t have to get up until 6:45 am and this ticks me off that he likes to mess with my last 45 minutes (which can make or break your morning) of sleep before work…I TOTALLY understand your sentiment and this is why I nap soooo much during the day when I can…

    • @jlbd: I wish I could nap during the day. That would be perfect. But there’s nowhere for a mid-afternoon nap in my office. Sometimes I’ll sneak into the ladies’ room for a little quiet, but no real napping spots.

      • @aye

        Oh I understand that because I work all day too, but I can guarantee you that I have no problem taking a post-work nap aroun 5pm. It energizes you for the evening and gets you mentally ready to cook dinner and do other things that you are not in the mood for when you first get off work…lol. I’m not able to do it all the time but when I can, I will…..and trust me, I don’t have a problem napping on the weekend either…lol!

    • “…and after he eats he gets energized and likes to run around the house howling and jumping up the walls. ”

      @jlbd: Why did this make me laugh? I can see your cat bouncing around everywhere like he’s on crack. The howling part is hilarious.

      • @Shawnta’

        Girl he gets like that every time he finishes a meal. I don’t get it and it’s actually pretty funny in the afternoon or later in the evening, but in the morning I want to strangle him!

  9. Why is it that most women I know go crazy/get cranky when they’re slightly hungry and can’t find something to eat or snack on? …… I don’t get this one.

    • I’m OK with slightly hungry. I can’t handle full-on, stomach-eating-itself-from-the-inside-out hunger. I’m pretty even-tempered until I realize I haven’t had a cracker or Snickers in a while.

    • Agreed Damon, most chicks I know get pretty grouchy if they don’t get their food. Perhaps the hunger makes them release some anger hormones or something?

    • Our appetites are directly tied to our emotions. Eating deliciousness makes me happy. Being hungry and thinking about deliciousness makes me go ham… this is why I keep snacks.

  10. Sleep and food. IN that order.

    I always can and want to sleep.

    However, don’t wake me up for foolishness. I’m cool if it’s a legitimate call/question and it’s a reasonable time (so after 9am on a weekday, 10am on a weekend) but just calling me to call me because YOU can’t sleep.

    Curse words.

  11. blackgirlinmaine

    I hear you though as the mother of a 4 yo and 17 yo, my sleep gets messed with all the time. Though one thing I cannot budge on is that I need at least 2 hours to be left alone when I wake up. Yeah, I’m up but please leave me alone.

  12. I am the exact same way. I sleep extremely hard. It also takes me a long time to fall asleep plus I have bouts of insomnia. So my sleep is very precious to me. The only thing that wakes me up is my cell phone. Nothing else wakes me up- not storms, loud music, babies crying, people arguing, etc.

    For example a couple months ago the ceiling in the room next to mine caved in at 2 a.m and I wasn’t disturbed at all My mother had to come shake me awake twice before I would get up. (I looked at it. Said there ain’t nothing I can do and went back to bed).

    So if you do wake me up you must be doing something extremely foolish @ 2 million decibels. If it’s not an emergency then leave me alone. This goes out to my friend that snacks in the middle of the night(who needs pringles at 2:37 am?). This also goes out to my other homie who is always driving all night to see her mother(that’s cool but next time sing with the radio).

  13. man, it’s one thing for someone to disrupt my sleep (ESPECIALLY with a BS phone call), but to disrupt my sleep on my day off? i’ll shank you. hard. with a dirty jagged item that you might need a tetanus shot for. just because YOU have to be at work by 7:30 doesn’t mean i have to be awake with you. hmph.

  14. great post. i agree 100 percent. and that’s 10-fold on my day-off or the weekend. i love sleep. as a matter of fact…

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