… ever hearing again.
There are things that people say that annoy the hell outta you. My personal list of these things is probably longer than Paris Hilton’s Christmas wish list from 1993 (“That’s hot!” would definitely make the list). But I’m just gonna give you a few. Feel free to share the ones you could do without hearing in the comments…
1. Whatev or Whatevs. This “abbreviation” of whatever has grown in popularity over the last year as a “cool” way of saying whatever. I prefer the three-syllable version of the word.
2. Keeping it Real or Keeping it 100. In college, we wore out “keeping it real” so much that we began parodying ourselves with it (that and “clearly”). Note: I graduated from college what seems like three decades ago… Now, “real” is equivalent to 100, which is news to me because I never knew there was a number that meant “being real.” (I do know that half of 100 means pig and a person who would beef with a six-year-old girl if he deemed it necessary.) Really though, I’m waiting from someone to take the “keeping it 100” phrase to this level …
3. I’m gave it 110 percent or any other percentage greater than 100. Did you do extra credit or something? I’m confused. How do you give more than 100 percent in anything? Someone tell me now. “Keep it 110” with me, though.
4. OH EM GEE. I’m especially miffed by atheists who excuse this phrase from their mouths, and though I’m clearly no there, the non-believers who say “oh my God” during sex. Really, that’s when you’re supposed to call on God, huh? Didn’t know that one.
5. You are NOT the father. I don’t understand how or why Maury Povich is still on the air and why people take such joy in hearing this phrase, Wildcat-Squared.
6. I put that on my mother or I put that on everything. One day, someone is going to say this, and a scene that belongs in “The Final Destination” is going to happen to that person’s mom or him/her. The only thing you should put on your mother is a kiss, a hug or a nice thank you for raising you to be the kind soul that you are.
7. You just gotta take it one day (or game) at a time. It’s the ultimate sports cliche. I get the meaning behind it, but if I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard this phrase over the last 10 years, I could probably buy Neverland Ranch and The Beatles catalog.
8. Brett Favre. Need I say more?
8. I told you so. I almost never say this. In my book, uttering this is just about grounds for back slapping someone like they talked back to his/her Mother or pimp. It’s unnecessary because you know that I know that you were right and I was wrong. If you want to puff out your chest, get outta my face and go become a stripper or something.
9. If I had a dollar for… Yeah, I just used it. But I did so hoping that you’d see the error in my ways. Don’t ever say I didn’t do anything for you (<- another one).
10. I just don’t know what to say. I have an entire rant on this that I might post next week. But, in short, if you tell me that you don’t have anything to say, shut the hell up. I don’t want to hear you think.
A few things I say that I know annoy people.
But the catch is this… When I’m trying to make a point, this is my go-to move so that I can think about what I’m trying to say. It’s my counter to President Obama’s “UHHHHHH.” I’m trying to stop, but I’ve yet to find a solution. Help, please.
Listen, listen, listen… This is me circa 2001. I don’t do this one anymore because I can hear each of my line brothers mocking me distinctly in my head every time I want to make an argument but can’t seem to make my point because someone else is dominating the discussion. *shrugs*
Anyway, what phrases annoy you?