Someone is slipping something in the Kool-Aid packets these days. For real… Every time you think you’ve seen it all, you get upped one. Example: Lil Mama bum rushing Jay-Z’s VMA set/Lil Mama posted up with Jesus & Judas at The Last Supper.
Well, earlier this week we saw the pseudo-marriage of Lamar and Kim’s sister.
Not to be outdone, the Rev. Al Sharpton has found himself, what Monica would call, a new winterboo. Yes, the infamous LisaRaye is the arm candy of the Good Reverend Capitilize On Your Despair. I took about five minutes to try to understand how this could come to pass. I mean, if you told me you saw Al with Star Jones or LisaRaye with Star’s cousin Pacman, I’d believe you. But this… it really makes no sense.
But I kept pondering.
Then I realized that there 30 billion other things in this world that make less sense and I gave up. Here are the hypotheses I came up with in that short period of time, the plausible ones, anyway.
1. Rev. Sharpton walked into The Players Club hoping for a good night of “clean” fun, saw Diamond and was taken aback by her beauooty. He got a lap dance or three, talk to her for a few and was smitten by the fact that she knew a little Audre Lorde and could define herself for naked herself a la Merch/Candy. Anyway, Al started explaining to her how they should start a strippers union to get more money outta Dollar Bill. Diamond figured the would help her with the burden known as her “tuition” and the rest is history…
2. While lamenting her failed marriage to her favorite New York hair stylist, LisaRaye heard a familar voice chiming in with a consistent call & response. It seemed as though he was paying her good attention. But really, the good reverend was in the chair next to Lisa having his scalp scratched before getting his hair washed and a relaxer. In this moment, LisaRaye realized that she could share time with him like she could no other man, and fell hard. And who would Al be to deny Diamond?
3. Rollo Goodlove, with A Pimp Named Slickback by his side, decided to hold a rally in support of jailed former rap stars who think it’s OK to smack people with rum bottles. LisaRaye showed up to support her half-sister and was wooed by the oration of Goodlove. Believing she could get him to give her a lesson or two in the King’s English, she slipped the pastor of publicity her number and yeah… he charmed her out of her clear heels.
4. LisaRaye loved being the first lady of an island (no joke) and is envious of Michelle Obama’s newfound “fame.” She figures that Rev. Al Sharpton is next in the line of great black American presidents and a meal ticket that doesn’t involve playing that difficult role of “herself” on camera. And again, who is the good reverend to deny such a first lady?
5. I clearly don’t know… You tell me what you think because I’m out of wild possiblities. Is it opposite’s Attract or We got Something Hair in Common? Someone, anyone make this make sense…please.