The Wouldas

On Friday, I asked you to name something for which you’re thankful. Everyone gave great, introspective responses. Well, today I thought we’d tinker with that a little bit.

Here are 10 things I would be thankful for if they’d just happen:

1. If somehow we could use Sarah Palin as our test dummy for life on the moon. What? She would be a great astronaut and Ambassador of that space, don’t you think?

2. If people would learn that calling me more than once when it’s not an emergency without me returning your phone call is annoying/rude. It won’t get you a returned call any faster.

3. If insecure clowns would find their own lanes, i.e. twitter feeds, and stay there. I don’t need you in my lane trying to wreck my life. Find a light pole and get comfy.

4. If peace of mind and contentment would be easier for everyone to find.

5. If my eyes were somehow mistaken and the Chiefs’ record were 7-3, not 3-7.

6. A good black romantic comedy hit the theaters, one that could garner some sort of Oscar buzz. Like a black Juno or Sideways.

7. If Brett Favre would start choking so that I can be right. I hate that he’s proving me wrong. Good for him, but he’s in danger of passing Beyonce on my “I dislike you for no good reason” list.

8. If Oprah stopped screaming when she announces people who come on her show or when she gives something away. It scares me.

9. If I could get my hands on a black Friday computer without standing in a Black Friday early morning line at 2 a.m. I refuse to do so because my sanity won’t let me. Neither will the basic principle of opportunity cost. My sleep is too valuable.

10. If people who know me would stop thinking that I’m judging them 24/7. Yes, I’m full of opinion, but I understand and accept that we likely differ on some things. That’s life. That doesn’t mean I respect or think less of you. If I know you, like you and respect you, I don’t have time to judge you. Being judged for real isn’t cool. Trust, I know. Besides, I only frown upon people who are dumb enough to say that they think they’re smarter than you and those who wear sunglasses indoors. And they can’t see my frown anyway. *shrugs*

What new happenings would you be thankful for right now?

Oh yeah, Monica and I both made it on Kansas City’s A-List: 30 Under 30! I know some of y’all clicked the link and cast a few ballots (I made that link big enough, didn’t I?), so thank you, thank you, thank you…you’re far too kind.

We’ll be honored on Thanksgiving night here in the city. Again, thanks for the support.


25 responses to “The Wouldas

  1. Congrats to you and Monica.

    I’d be thankful if my house would clean itself, after a long day/week of work the last thing I feel like doing is cleaning my house. But at least I have one.

    I’d be thankful if some people understood that sometimes you just need to vent. If I complain about something (job) that doesn’t mean I’m not thankful for it, it means I’m irritated that I had to make 1,000 photocopies today and I want to go on a rant about it.

    • “I’d be thankful if some people understood that sometimes you just need to vent. If I complain about something (job) that doesn’t mean I’m not thankful for it, it means I’m irritated that I had to make 1,000 photocopies today and I want to go on a rant about it.” –Tam

      Just to piggy back…I wish people who are unemployed would not make comments like “at least you have a job…”
      Just because I have a bad day at work and I want to complain about it does not mean that I don’t appreciate my job any less and the guilt trip from the unemployed makes me just want to slap them!
      (I know this may sound mean to some, but it’s my truth!)

  2. Morning, y’all.

    @damon & @monica: Congrats! So happy both of you made it.

    Love your #4 & #6. Great ones.

    I’d be thankful if Mya wins Dancing With the Stars. Of course, I have no vested interest in her winning. I get nothing out of it. I just think she should win.

    I’d be thankful if Twitter modified its new retweet function. It drives me crazy to see random people in my timeline & not be able to add my own commentary to tweets I RT. Although the RT button is there & easy to click, I use it sparingly. I still RT the old way when I want to add comments of my own.

    I’d be thankful if I could get Rihanna’s “The wait is ova, the wait is ova…” out of my head. It’s so catchy it stays on loop in my head. I don’t even know any of the other words just ‘the wait is ova’. Craziness.

    • “I’d be thankful if Twitter modified its new retweet function.”

      I hate it because it doesn’t work in Tweet Deck and doesn’t give you the option of replying in the tweet. I don’t even know when someone RTs something I say from the web site. I have to go look… They should have known that those things would be issues… and made it to where it just picked up the regular way that people RT things instead of trying to be fancy with it.

      On Rihanna, I’d be thankful if that tattoo magically disappeared from her esophagus.

  3. Congratulations guys!

    Damon, if someone calls me/texts me and doesn’t give me an hour to return their phone call, I add 30 mins to calling them back. So, if you call me at 1:00 and then again at 1:30, it’ll be 2:00 before I even THINK about calling you back. It’s also ALWAYS the people who never pick up the phone when you call. I can’t stand that mess. I once had a friend call me back-to-back for 2 hours. I’m not kidding. When I finally answered, she said “I got scared cause you always answer your phone!” ::blank stare::

    Let’s see here….

    1)If the Titans’ record was 10-0 instead of 4-6 (and Lord knows it would be, ’cause #vinceyoungwinsgames)

    2) If somebody would give me a late night talk show so I can be the next Oprah, but late night.

    3) If I could magically just be at home instead of having to drive 10 hours.

    • @asmith: I’m bad. If I don’t call you back and you call me more than once in a day… I’m not gonna be happy. I’ll be annoyed, especially when I find out that it’s not an emergency or anything important.

      on 3, damn… you be safe now. That’s a lot of driving..

  4. I would be thankful if a certain someone who’s done me wrong would make ammends and provide a nice big check in the mail for what is owed to me.

    I would be thankful if people could provide donations to the charity case of jlbd given that I’m planning this big ol’ wedding almost all alone.

    I would be thankful if people whom I never have even talked to or don’t talk to for a good reason (family included) would stop sending me facebook friend requests.

    I would be thankful if I could lose this spare inner tube from around my waist.

    And lastly, I would be thankful if I could get a new flat screen for my living room because the 37 inch we have right now has a broken sensor on it and you have to get up and down to control the volume and power buttons…I’d prefer to not have to wait in the black friday lines, like Damon, I refuse for the sole sake of sanity…

    • @jlbd: Yeah, on that first one: You need to be thankful you have peace of mind…

      “you have to get up and down to control the volume and power buttons”

      That’s hilarious…

      • I’ve been thankful for that for the last 4 years or so, I’m ready to be thankful for something new regarding that situation… 🙂

        • I know this isn’t a reply, you have to get up to turn the volume down…that’s high comedy to me and I’d pay to see it but…yeah. lol.

          • Here’s the kicker. A close friend of his who will remain nameless sold us this television when we first moved into that apartment. Don’t you think it’s bad etiquette to know something is wrong with a product that you sell to someone but you fail to disclose this information? I still can’t believe she didn’t have the decency to tell us that the sensor was broken. When I asked her about it her response was “Girl, I could never get the remote to work…” I just looked at her like she was a piece of sh1t! Sorry, but cursing is necessary for this particular scenario…ninjas…

  5. I’d be thankful if someone gave me $500. That’s all I really want.

    And I got that Black Friday hookup, my roommate is a manager at Target.

  6. i would be thankful if:

    -adults riding public transportation would act like they are adults with home trainin’…booed up, all kissy-face, blockin’ the train door during rush hour when folks tryna get to work, HUMP!

    -female musicians started wearing pants again…. i mean for real? it’s fall now. (and what did pants do to u in the 1st place anyway?)

    -soulful R&B got recessitated ASAP

    -i woke up to find my apt miraculously has a coat closet

    -I got tiks to see Oprah for Christmas

    -figured out where the online ‘cyber monday’ laptop deals are

    -HR has a glitch and adds 5-10 additional vacay days to my account 😀

  7. I enjoy number 10. Unfortunately, that probably won’t be the last time you have to go through that explanation :/

    So here are my additions. I would be thankful:

    1. If the dems got it together and voted this health care bill through already. I’m tired of the other side out-passioning us on this issue.

    2. If Mizzou could have that Nebraska game back…

    3. If I could pass my first semester of law school

    4. If I could stop losing/damaging digital cameras and ipods.

    5. If the following ppl would be locked in a box and thrown in the ocean: R. Kelly, Megan Fox, Kirsten Dunst, Sarah Palin,and Glenn Beck.

    6. If everyone in the world would watch all five seasons of The Wire and realize how brilliant it is.

    I’ll save the rest for the Christmas list. 🙂

    • “I enjoy number 10. Unfortunately, that probably won’t be the last time you have to go through that explanation :/”

      That’s the truth… smh.

      Don’t remind me of that Nebraska mess. if that fourth quarter doesn’t happen, we’re playing for the North on Saturday. #fail

      Megan Fox is good for the human species. The rest of them can go…

  8. Congrats!

    1. If i could get a holiday bonus in addition to my yearly bonus (even if they just divide my yearly bonus in two and give half at Christmas and the other half during our normal bonus period.)

    2. If the Colts could go 19-0 just to prove to Pats fans that we have the better quarterback.

    3. If Jordan, in his prime, could come back and play against this current crop of NBA Superstars just so we could put all of the arguments to rest.

    4. If Disney could stop creating all of these so called”teen sensations/music artists”. They all suck.

  9. “If my eyes were somehow mistaken and the Chiefs’ record were 7-3, not 3-7.”

    I’m still trying to figure out how in the world the Chiefs beat the Steelers?

  10. RE: #9….you can head on over to Best Buy after we leave the club! You know it’ll be about that time….

    And RE: #10…*side eye*

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