Wife Clubs Caddy

I pen #sixwordstories on Twitter from time to time. So when Tiger Woods, well, made news on Friday I came up with this one:

“Tiger woods mistress. Wife clubs Caddy. #sixwordstories (Allegedly)”

Wrong, I know. But at least I threw the word allegedly in parenthesis at the end of it. It’s important because no one knows exactly what happened — save God, TMZ, Tiger and his alleged mistress. Journalists use it often because suspects are presumed innocent until … you know, even when Bill Cosby knows where the proof is.

Anyway, the only thing we know to be true, other than Tiger wrecking his ride at 2 a.m., is the title to this entry: Woods Wife Clubs Caddy. Just as soon as that piece of the story came out, this entire story went awry and the real speculation began. Here are a few things that have been running through my head this weekend concerning the situation.

1. An algebra student could deduce that Elin Woods isn’t busting out a back window with a 3-Wood to drag her husband from a minor car accident. It doesn’t add up. Doesn’t come close. I understand the idea of trying to protect your wife, but that story is about as believable as Jim Carrey’s character in “Liar, Liar” (before his son’s birthday wish). Come again.

2. Tiger should have never agreed to speak with the cops. His lawyers should have stopped that before it started. It was a one-car incident, which means that he didn’t have to give them a statement. But going back on it three times over the weekend makes this entire fiasco just a little bit more ridiculous and less believeable.

3. Monogamy is as much of a choice as infidelity is. I glanced over many comments/tweets about Tiger’s incident this weekend. The most alarming one was something about monogamy being impossible. Wrong. Maybe that’s true for you because you don’t understand how to make a relationship work or aren’t willing to, but don’t pin that one on humanity. (I might expound my thoughts on this later this week)

4. If Tiger Woods did cheat on his wife, she shouldn’t be too shocked (Note: I didn’t say she shouldn’t be upset). I know, that reads backasswards considering No. 3. But it’s the truth. He’s more famous than the infamous Michael Jordan, who hads options and playeds all of them. I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again: the more power a person has the more apt he/she is to abuse it. Personally, I’m more shocked that she (allegedly) snapped than I am that Tiger (allegedly) cheated.

5. If the stuff TMZ reported over the weekend is true, Tiger has one really dumb soon-to-be ex-friend. If you’re an anonymous source, the idea is to be anonymous from not just the world, but also from whomever it is that you’re dishing the dirt on. That means you don’t leave a crumb trail. So if Tiger tells you that he might have to pull a “Kobe Special” and you take that line to TMZ, you dropped a loaf of Tiger’s unsliced wheat bread on your own doorstep. And you really didn’t consider Tiger your friend anyway.



19 responses to “Wife Clubs Caddy

  1. If she really did bust out his window because he was cheating, the irony of her using a golf club is hilarious to me. I hope it was one of his practice clubs, ha.

    One of my friend’s on twitter said that if a woman is married to a billionare and he cheats on her then it is the woman’s duty to just deal with it. This along with your #4 statement leads me to believe that it should just be expected that if you’re with someone with a lot of money and/or fame that you will be cheated on. And since this person has all this money that you should accept this as your reality and not complain about it. That’s kinda sad….

    • @Tam: I don’t know that you should expect it, moreso that you just shouldn’t be shocked.

      I think the chances that one cheats increase tenfold it’s thrown at a person consistently. In Tiger’s case it’s no different.

      I don’t think you should accept it as reality. I just think a person in that situation should make better decisions about how to handle the situation. Chasing a Caddy with a golf club enraged and scratching up your husband’s face are signs of immaturity.

      Why not just leave or reconcile without the drama?

      • @Damon

        ‘Chasing a Caddy with a golf club enraged and scratching up your husband’s face are signs of immaturity.’


        I’m with Chris Rock on this one, I ain’t saying she shoulda did it, but I understand….

      • @ Damon

        “Why not just leave or reconcile without the drama?”

        Because it usually isn’t that simple. While in theory you could just up and leave, the logistics of it especially when children and complex financials are involved make it more difficult to just leave. Not to mention, it is hard to do things that have a strong emotional impact without drama.

        This appears to be a spur of the moment, completely emotional reaction. It’s not like she had time to plot over bashing him and his car up with the clubs so I don’t think that it was immaturity. It was raw emotion, which is just human.

        • “It was raw emotion, which is just human.”


          I agree. I just wish more people would think in these situations instead of just acting out of raw emotion, I guess.

          Raw emotion gets people in trouble. It’s gotten me in trouble. Probably all of us at one point or another. And you tend to learn from these things that you shouldn’t overreact…

    • @Tam: “If she really did bust out his window because he was cheating, the irony of her using a golf club is hilarious to me. ”

      YES, YES!

  2. I had kind of a back and forth discussion about this with my mom last night. She was on a completely different page, and I was shocked that she didn’t ‘get it’. She couldn’t understand why the media was so hung up on this story and that Tiger should have been left alone. Ummmm, this is the most famous athlete in the world and he randomly runs into a fire hydrant and his neighbor’s tree…that’s newsworthy in my opinion. Then, mother was going on and on about how he got married too young and if he didn’t love her then he shouldn’t have married her, yada yada yada…I’m sitting there scratching my head like “huh???”. People like Tiger just don’t stay faithful, he has all that money and power….c’mon! He also wasn’t that young when he married her, IMHO. And, he likely didn’t marry her for love, not saying that he doesn’t LOVE her, but he likely married her for the blonde trophy that she is…smh…

    Bottom line, I thought his statement was full of ish too, he’s trying to protect her and he’s doing so because he KNOWS he effed up and he’s gotta earn his keep SOME kind of way…..lol…

    • @jlbd: I don’t blame him for protecting her, but this is like holding a piece of paper in front of you to guard your wife from oncoming shotgun shells.

    • And it was newsworthy when they said he was seriously injured. When they retracted that and said it was minor and that his wife had “busted out the back window with a golf club to save him” it remained major news because that was a bold faced lie.

  3. When I first saw this story with the late hour he was leaving, I thought, “uh-oh” but didn’t want to jump to conclusions. Then when I heard his wife smashed the windows and pulled him out, I found it odd she was up at that hour too so she must have known he was leaving. I thought maybe they had a fight and he was leaving to go cool off or something. Then when I thought about her actually “smashing out car windows and DRAGGING him to safety”, the logistics seemed pretty impossible. Who fed that story to the press anyway – the police?

    By the time Tiger released his statement indicating a minor traffic accident was “a private matter for his family,” I thought, there is WAY more to this story. And the less forthcoming they are about it, the more the press is going to dig, like sharks in the water who smell blood.

  4. It’s looking like Tiger had an affair so I’d just like to make this point. It’s not gay people who want to get married who are undermining the sanctity of marriage, it’s married people who have no respect for their marriage vows who are undermining the sanctity of marriage. I’d really like to see Pat Robertson, Newt Gingrich, Mark Sanford, and the rest of the people who fight so hard to keep gay marriage from being legal, fight just as hard to make adultery illegal. If it’s okay to have the government poking its nose in one group of people’s bedrooms, surely its just as okay to poke its nose in a different set of bedrooms?

    • @d-milz: I think we had the “make adultery illegal” discussion earlier this year… Idk, I think it’s great in theory, but I don’t know how practical it is… You definitely couldn’t lock people up. There wouldn’t be enough jail space.

      And a fine would mean nothing to most people. In the end, I just think it would mean that fewer people would get married…which maybe wouldn’t be such a horrible thing. idk, though.

      • @damon – I’m not really advocating making it illegal, I just find the hypocrisy astounding by people like Newt and Mark Sanford (who both had very public affairs–Newt twice). If they are so concerned about gay marraige as a threat to the sanctity of traditional marriage, what are they doing about adultery?? That’s abigger threat to me.

        • I see. It is a bigger threat to the sanctity of marriage. I’d wager that it’s always been the biggest threat.

          Thus, I’m not sure there’s much that can be done about it. It’s been around forever…

    • @D-milz:

      Making adultery illegal would never happen, there are too many government officials that cheat. Not to mention the logistics of trying all those cases….the courts would be tied up for years LOL.

  5. You know I’m not quite sure what happened that night but I’m willing to bet that it wasn’t the story that was presented.

    I will say this…

    If she did bust out his window & his lip w/ a golf club then he might be as calm & locked-in in life as he is on the course.

    Because nobody on Earth, would hit Matthew S. Oates nor his ride w/ a golf club and not get that behind whooped. I know he got money and could buy a new car or hell even a new face, but the principles of it all says “You hit me & my car w/ a blunt object, so now you must get that tail whooped”

    They woulda found some bloody gloves @ my house lol!!!

  6. I’ve gotten to the point with celebs and their statements that I choose to see the admission between the lines. I mean his statement is so blatantly an effort to cover up what really happened it’s a shame.

    I think what’s also funny is that while folks are talking about this, as long as he’s dragging his feet and TMZ has released a plausible alternative no one REALLY cares.

    I like what you said in #3. It’s all a choice — life is about the choices you make. The end. Maybe if people saw monogamy is a choice as well, we’d have less adultery, but then again, maybe not.

  7. Not writing for Tuesday. Be back on Wednesday… Dame

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