Dear Parental Units Who Refuse to Lay Hands:
There’s something commendable about you people. That whole idea of a (cue: MLK voice) “non-violent, non-violent” lifestyle seems like a noble way to raise children.
I clearly grew up taking my licks and believing that I would be somewhat like you — a parent unashamed by watching my kids run amuck in a department store without proper consequences and repercussions. Well, I’d never be that foolish. But I thought I would treat my kids better than my parents trbeated my brothers and I.
I, thankfully, have no children. Yet, my reflexes and instincts have taken over around kids. I find myself willing and wanting to pop an underage cousin or one of my friend’s kids. As I’ve aged and realized that my parents were right when they told me I thought I was a know-it-all, I’ve realized that the best method for rearing children is wearing out their rear ends.
Junior, the ultimate Problem Child who never got a whipping.
I don’t need scientific research to make this make sense. There is a level of respect and reverence that comes with knowing someone not only can, but has and will do you bodily harm when the situation warrants or even when it probably doesn’t. Recall your parents’ generation and the generation before that. There was a greater level of respect for elders that permeated America.
No, I’m not saying we need to bring back extension cords, switches or “whatever momma can grab.” Although, some of us have been pummeled by all three. You don’t have to suit up as Joe Jackson, either. I’m talking about dishing out just enough punishment so that minors have a discernible reverence for adults.
It’s a major problem in America today, kids and their lacking respect for their parents, elders and authority. In my opinion, there is a direct correlation to your unwillingness to lay hands. This, in turn, enables other adults from getting respect from your children.
It truly does take a village, and right now, most villages are in a state of disrepair. See, I grew up in a community where my second-grade teacher, Mrs. Peters, asked permission from students’ parents to swat them with her ruler. It was often granted. My first baby-sitter didn’t hesitate to lay hands, either.
Nowadays, y’all don’t want anyone to touch your children. Heck, you’re scared that if you lay hands your child might call Child Services on you. But you can’t fear hammering respect and morals into your kids. They must know that your role isn’t one of a friend. They learn this best through punishment, early and often.
No, this isn’t the NFL. Two-minute television “timeouts” do not work. But making your kids hold a push-up position or making them “watch TV” for an hour or two will suffice. It doesn’t always have to come from a belt or calisthenics. You can be innovative.
In the sixth grade, my father made me write “I will not forget my belt at home before school” 800 times. Sure, we could have saved a tree limb with the paper I used (and I’m thankful that limb didn’t end up as a switch for my backside). But I learned that lesson (and my handwriting is impeccable). Same can be said for losing my television, Super Nintendo, VCR and/or extracurricular privileges.
Hell, when I got my last whupping at 14 and my parents started grounding us, I longed for the five-minute torture of my dad’s brown leather bomber. Nothing was worse than grounding.
Through it all, though, I grew up respecting my parents and other adults because I knew there were consequences and repercussions. And I’m not so certain that your kids have that same respect.
Can you all take this into consideration, and use your belts as more than accessories for you clothing? I know this won’t fix every problem in the world, but it’s a start. Besides, I’m getting antsy, and one day soon might snatch one of your kids by his blond-haired head and slingshot him into the Panera seat next to you. I have patience, but it’s wearing thin.
Sincerely yours,
Damon
P.S. Your new anthem: “Whoop That Trick.”
This May Concern You 
This new generation will never know….. Growing up in Mound Bayou, Mississippi as a kid, a whupping was the norm in discipline. Your teacher, neighbor, and even candy store owner could beat that ass….so it was seldom that kids in my neighborhood did anything that would constitute a whupping….because a belt, switch, extension cord, and shoe could hit you from all angles.
Whoop That Trick? Word.
@moni: Why won’t you let my dry wit be great? lol.
LMAO! Can you please read this at the next open school night? Kids are outright sassy and defiant. It takes a lot to not administer a backhand to some of the little turds I work with
Kids needs spankings to survive…just like food and water. lol
But seriously, I’ve been in the store when Margaret has tried to calm little Billy down with words after he’s thrown a fit in the candy isle and wanted to knock him out myself!!!! My Sunday School teacher told us he once asked a lady if she wanted him to discipline her son (he was actin and IG’NANT fool in Walgreens. lol)
I don’t understand the “reasoning” behind spoiling a child. All it does is wreak havoc in the future, with the childs’ teachers, peers, etc.
@nicki: I promise you, I have the earnest desire to snatch children just because I know I got snatched when I acted a plumb fool in public …
Exactly.. and it’s just plain annoying. When I enjoying my quiet shopping or my nice dinner, I DO NOT need to be interrupted by your bad a&& child.
this entire idea for this letter came from an “experience” at Panera Bread … About four suburban moms brought in 12 kids together … Nine of them were boys, and they were the curious type like Tommy, Chucky, Phil and Lil …
They ran around Panera like they owned it, noise and all … A few other patrons and I just sat there looking at them, each other and the parents like “This ish is unruly and unreal.”
The parents did nothing, but try to shoo them into their chairs every 45 minutes. The moms were “enjoying” their own conversation … smh.
See, when it’s a public disturbance, I think it’s only natural that I can take matters into my own hand.
WHY ARE PEOPLE TAKING THEIR CHILDREN TO PANERA or Starbucks in the first place? Those are “calm” places. I’m sorry but there should be Kid free zones.. and at restaurants, I don’t want to see your kid at night time hours.
Why do parents think their kids don’t annoy the crap out of other people? They annoy you why wouldn’t they annoy me??
LOL!
I wholeheartedly agree. When I was a lil grommet you didn’t think about smarting off to an adult because you knew you deserved what was coming to you.
Fortunately, my little girl is a tenderhearted little thing and we just have to give her the look or raise the voice a bit and she goes to pieces (poor kid). I guess time will tell if more strenuous disciplinary activities will need to commence.
Both my wife and I got spankings (she had to go pick her switch and had communal spankings with her 6 siblings) so we’ll “go hard to the paint”-loved that from yesterday’s comments- if we have to.
“give her the look ”
@Travis: This is what I want to master…my husband & friends think I have it down already because it works with our neices, nephews and friends’ kids. We’ll see…only time will tell.
@travis: I already know I’ll drive to the cup like Dwyane Wade and take my kids to the school of hard knocks a time or two … It’s beyond necessary … i don’t do bad kids too well …
Damon, this was a great post and I wholeheartedly agree. Spankings work…PERIOD. There’s no way around it. No, we should not beat our children, but some good swats on that azz will sting enough to let them know who runs the show… I was like Travis’s little girl when I was younger, that’s why I didn’t get MANY whoopings. I would start crying if yelling came into play, but the whoopings molded me into a better woman and I respected every person giving them to me. Even when I didn’t expect it. Have any of you ever had that relative or family friend spank you and it straight up hurt your feelings? I remember when my grandma on my mom’s side swatted me on my legs with a fly swatter, I was more bothered that she was angry enough to spank me than I was hurt from the sting of the swat. These little bad azz kids nowadays need to feel that sting like we did…it makes a better person. When I have kids I’m not hesitating to ‘go hard in that paint’ (that was funny from yesterday)…I want my kids so in order that you will think they came from the planet of ‘ORDERLY CONDUCT’, it will be unearthly how good they behave….lmao!
Seriously, I think back to hearing stories of how our parents were handled, and think about how different society was concerning respect … and our generation, and how that respect diminished some … and now?
I’m just like, does anyone touch their kids beyond giving them hugs every day?
“But making your kids hold a push-up position or making them “watch TV” for an hour or two will suffice.”
WOW. THis is real talk right here. Serious flash back.
The good book says that if you “spare the rod, you spoil the child”. I think whooping should be the last resort and they should be good enough that the threat of them alone is good enough to ward off stupid activities. And everything aint gotta be a full out whooping either. A well timed pluck to the ear or pinch can do the trick too.
My dad used to make me and my bro stand with our hands in the air or do push ups. He used to say “If you’re not going to be strong in mind or discipline, you will be strong in body”
“whooping should be the last resort and they should be good enough that the threat of them alone is good enough to ward off stupid activities. And everything aint gotta be a full out whooping either. A well timed pluck to the ear or pinch can do the trick too. ”
@Peyso: Agreed.
@peyso … my stepbrother’s and I had one experience like that where we were in push up position for hours … It’s one of the best forms of punishment because you as a parent exert minimal energy … as you know.
But breaking down a child’s mind like that can be a useful tool if they’re mentally strong enough to handle it …
“My dad used to make me and my bro stand with our hands in the air or do push ups.”
LMBO. Why did that make me think of Busta Rhymes?
My cousin does that to her girls also.
“If you’re not going to be strong in mind or discipline, you will be strong in body”
I love this!!!
We used to do those squat/pumps while holding our ears with criss-crossed arms. African parents do NOT play with punishments and spankings. Lol!
Geez! I guess that makes for real strong glutes though…lol.
LP! How are you? Just wanted to say hello.
Morning, y’all.
“Whoop that trick”…that is hilarious.
We plan to spank if & when it becomes absolutely necessary and hopefully, as a last resort. Although we’d rather not do it, we are not opposed to doing it…at all.
I remember the ONE & ONLY time I had the nerve to fall out in the middle of a store aisle and have a tantrum…I was about four years old and my mom kept right on walking. She left me there. As a child, that is SCARY. I didn’t know if she was coming back or not. It worked though; never again did I even think about falling out in a store. I plan to do the same thing…(get my CeCe Peniston on &) keep right on walking if my child decides to fall out in the middle of a store. So, if y’all happen to be around if/when I have to do this, please don’t call the police or Children’s Services reporting abandonment. I won’t be far; just far enough for him or her to think I’ve really left them (and I’ll still have them in my line of sight). 🙂
@shawnta:
Acting out in public is asking for it. That’s how you get the worst whippings … i.e., yesterday’s story.
Everyone knows this line: “Just wait til we get home.” … lol … worst words ever …
“Everyone knows this line: “Just wait til we get home.” … lol … worst words ever …”
@damon: So true. That and “Wait til I tell your father/daddy.”
My mother was the queen of torture. She’d sit on it for a while. Get something to drink, do some odd chore that could have waited. During this time I’d pull the old “maybe if she sees I’m sleep, she won’t bother me.” Mistake. She’d yank the covers off of me mid-REM cycle and tear me up.
LMAO. My cousin put her two little girls outside the car and drove off down the street.. she said when she came back they were bawlin.
I wonder if that worked.
Meant to add…
“You can be innovative.”
@damon: I definitely agree with this. As I said yesterday, there were times I’d RATHER have a whipping than some other punishment my mother thought up…she could get pretty creative. At least with a whipping, it was over & done with in like 3 minutes.
i’m definintely a believer in “the belt”. i’ll never forget the looks on my bro, sis and my face when we were in elementary and this one girl on the playground confessed her parents never beat her. ’cause for so many years my siblings & i thought surely ALL parents must beat they kids. for a good min we thought she HAD to been lying.
to this day my mom has no problem poppin’ us all in our mouth when we get smart. it’s almost like as she gets older her reflexes to pop her hand & withdraw gets swifter and quicker. i can only pray i am blessed with such ability when i have my lil rug rats 🙂 good post damon!
@nn: Did you ever get the whipping at school in front of your friends or ever see one?
My parents wouldn’t do it. But I saw it many a time … and felt for that kid because of the undeniable embarrassment …
naw, we went to a private school (nuns-n-all) and altho my folks had no shame admitting they beat us, they weren’t about to have anybody witness, so we were only beat in our homes and at the homes of other family mbrs.
i have seen kids since i’ve gotten older get tore up in the grocery store and my heart goes out to them. it’s just too funny tho ’cause i know once a good lashin’ is received the kid will most def never do the bad deed again.
My mom did something even more embarrassing in front of my friends. I was mortified.
I was 14 and starting to feel like the world was my oyster… Lol! One bright week-end, I decided to soak my underwear in some detergent to facilitate the washing part (underwears are washed BY HAND only, lol!)… Me being my procrastinating self left my underwear in the bucket and the detergent for days… After 3 days, my mother asked me to wash them asap. I told her I would but then something came up and I didn’t wash them…
That same afternoon, I was hanging out in the family room with some friends… there was even a boy I kinda liked to… My mother came down the stairs WITH the bucket full of my underwear… Her words: “You guys will need to come back another day, Lovely here has not finished all her chores, she has to wash all of her underwear from a week ago”
Boy, I was sooooooo mortified. But guess what? I made sure my underwear was always washed on time! 😆
If you dont mind me asking of course, why must your drawers be washed by hand? I’m not trying to be rude or over intrusive, I just never heard of anything like that
Yeah, same here. I mean, I’ll wash the real real delicate silk or satin type lingerie by hand, but most of them go right into the washer with everything else…
I don’t have kids, but I do babysit my younger cousins, A LOT. I’ve been known to leave a kid or two in the middle of a Target aisle because they thought I was playing. I’ve been known to knock a few kids upside the head for bad language and testing my patience. And I will never hesitate to cuss your child clean out when I’ve had enough. I haven’t had to resort to the belt yet, but I have thrown a water bottle and a shoe. Plus, I’ve got the mean eye, and sometimes all it takes is a look.
“I’ve been known to leave a kid or two in the middle of a Target aisle because they thought I was playing.” {@aye: I LOVE it. It DOES work!}
“Plus, I’ve got the mean eye, and sometimes all it takes is a look.” {@aye: Agreed!}
I’m just wondering what you were thinking when you threw the water bottle? was it full or empty? How far away was the child? Did you connect? lol.
The bottle was less than half full, so my momentum was disrupted because the water was moving around in the bottle. Because of this, the bottle slowed down mid-air and he had time to duck. At the time, I was thinking, “This child needs to be knocked upside the head, but he’s too far away. What can I use? A-ha! A water bottle!”
@aye: for some reason, I knew that was going to be a fail. lol.
I grew up with the belt and now my kids follow in my foot steps. There are some parents who can successfully raise kids without laying a hand on them, but since I have not come across such a person in my lifetime, I’ll use my mommas way of child rearing with the belt.
I don’t whoop for each and every offense, a strong tone and a killer look can keep the job done too.
I also got whoopings in school as a youngin, didn’t happen often; once was enough and the fear of getting another one kept me in line.
@tonda: I just asked if someone got whupped in school. lol … That had to be one of the sickest feelings ever … and it had to straighten you up. lol.
I’m glad you use the belt, though. It’s necessary …
You’ll be glad to know that me and Logan’s father do plan on tapping that ass when she gets too far out her kiddie lane. I’m not an advocate of beating until a kid can’t sit but sparing the rod is not an option in my household.
Some kids are naturally little trouble makers and if Logan turns out to be that, I’ve got 5 million ways to discipline her (beatings included). I dare ANYONE to question my discipline efforts and then I will challenge them to let me question theirs. That’s what irritates me about people all up in other folks parental training…mind yo damn business if the kid aint getting burnt with an iron and worry about your hellraisers…not other folks. LOL
@assertivewit: Right, right, right… the parent who tells another parent that they shouldn’t discipline/whip their kids is lost in the game … Kids need to learn to respect their elders, and they often don’t do that without some form of punishment
Yes, yes, yes…I completely agree without question. The reason my sisters and I turned out so well was because my parents had the belt out and ready ANY time we stepped out of line. When my parents would have their date night, my dad would hang his trusty black belt on the bedroom door knob “to remind us…” he would say “of what would happen if we even thought do something we knew we shouldn’t do” while they were out. And believe. It worked. My parents did not threaten or play. They always followed thru.
How many times do you hear, “If you do that one more time Johnny..” or “Sarah, you’re just begging for it…” and nothing never happens. My mom carried a strap in her purse and would use it!
I have no kids yet but I have no qualms of whupping…as well as other non-physical forms of discipline.
Good post! Share with the world!
I think this whole premise is ridiculous. Black folks usually whip their kids. They just do. Yet we have high rates of screwed up kids who not only have no respect for society, but also no respect for themselves. I’ve seen many, many bad assed kids who are subjected to corporal punishment. If you say you haven’t, you’re a liar. Furthermore, people assume that when a kid is acting out in public, they are a child who doesn’t get spanked. Not necessarily true and a helluva assumption.
Since spanking injects children with so much respect, tell me why the vast majority of black people spank and/or were spanked and yet our problems are multiplying? So much for respect, ha?
I agree with you. Spanking is not the end all, be all way to ensure good little angels that grow up to be upright responsible citizens. But I will say more likely than not, a child who is spanked and reared in a LOVING home where it is done correctly, will.
There are some parents that spank and yell out of anger. Yes the child did something bad…but their way of punishment is more to relieve their anger than to correct a bad behavior. Kids can sense that. And I think these are the kids that continue to act out. I don’t know…some kids will just be bad no matter what you do.
But you do have a point with the black community thing too. I’m at work so I don’t have the time…but I think whooping is just ONE of the many things involved in raising a kid. There are definitely more factors involved.
I agree, too. Plus, there are just some kids who you can’t whoop anymore. They get to the point where a whooping doesn’t mean anything (my experience has taught me these are usually teenage boys). That’s when creativity comes into play. Discipline is discipline, as long as it’s handed out consistently and not in anger.
Yes, definitely! There are good citizens that come out of spanking homes and ones that come out of non-spanking homes as long as the home is stable and loving. However, I totally reject the premise that not spanking produces disrespectful monsters and spanking produces these great respectful children. Our society shows that assumption is faulty and as you noted, discipline is only a small part of the puzzle.
agreed!
a child who is spanked and reared in a LOVING home where it is done correctly, will.
And I think that is the keyword: LOVING. Not beat up out of parental frustration or just beat up for the sake of it… But spanked while developing in a LOVING environment. The beatings are not done out of spite but rather with the mindset that they will contribute to raise upright citizens.
So the keyword that might have been missing, is that the parents do not administer those beatings for the sake of it, but rather as a combo of love and discipline….
From my standpoint, as much as the love is necessary so is the discipline. They go hand in hand.
@LS: There are plenty of parents who let their kids get away with the wrong things, and only spank them occasionally … and it’s not necessarily a black or white issue.
Yes, there are bad kids who don’t learn to respect people no matter what.
But I know for me, my siblings and others around us it started with discipline … and I think it starts before a kid hits 3.
And, like I said, it’s not just about spanking. It’s about putting a kid in a position where you challenge them mentally to do better as well … and actually show them that you care …
You can’t imagine how many times my mom, stepmom or dad sat us through an hourlong discussion AFTER they whooped us to make us understand what we’d done… It takes concern and care to both earn and command that respect …
I agree. I think the care and concern matter far more than whether you spank or not. That can be present (or lacking) in both types of households.
Bottomline: People should feel confident in their choice to spank or not to spank.However, no one is doing their child a terrible injustice by not spanking them.
Idk … there’s a separation that comes from discipline … too many kids are “friends” with their parents. I just personally believe that there’s a separation that comes about via the usage of the belt.
You never look at your parents or any other elders as though they are your equal.
And I think you should be confident either way. I just think there a better chance that if you don’t use discipline — spankings or otherwise — often that your kids won’t respect you. …
It’s problematic for me that people can only give anecdotal evidence for why they believe spanking is better.
Question: You and others stated that your parents didn’t spank in public. What leads you to believe that those kids were children who were not spanked? Based on the fact that they weren’t spanked right then? But then people state that their parents wouldn’t have either…
Are you basing your original post on people you know personally who don’t spank? If you are, do those people discipline their children in other ways and provide follow through?
Maybe the name of this entry should be “Parents Who Don’t Discipline Their Kids.” There is always a line of separation when one group of people (the parents) has the power to enforce discipline on another group (the children) whether via spanking or some other means of discipline. The very ability to discipline provides that line. Example: If I’m working for a company, I’m likely to do what the boss says because the boss has power to use disciplinary measures on me. When I don’t, the boss will use those measures. He/She doesn’t have to spank me for there to be a clear line between the boss and employee.
Everyone should realize that there are many “Parents who refuse to lay hands” who do discipline their children. And while there are kids from non-spanking households ruining your lunch or tearing through store aisles, you would probably be surprised to realize how many of those children actually are spanked.
@LS
I actually agree with your logic. I thought about this earlier when the race comparison came up and had to wonder what exactly is the root of our social issues as blacks. But, I can tell you that spanking and physical disciplining doesn’t have a negative impact if it is done with a good mix of love, honesty and respect. Like Damon said earlier, after my mom spanked me she would always sit down and have a heart to heart talk with me about why she doesn’t WANT to spank me but that I need to learn to do or not do what it was I was doing when I was doing it. I was never scared of my parents for the whippings but the respect was there because they both loved me in soooo many ways and showed that more than anything else. I too have seen kids get tore out the frame from their parents and still turn out bad and in every case that I’ve seen like that I’ve noticed that the parents spend very little time nurturing and spending quality time with their children to enforce the bonding. Most of the time parents like this are unhappy in their own lives and physically hurt their children out of anger. I actually have a cousin that will smack her kids senseless and then tell them to go sit down and she’ll go back to watching tv, laying on the couch, smoking a cigarette….anything that conveys that she’s only worried about herself…It truly makes a difference…
I have mixed feelings about corporal punishment. As a child, I never saw it used lovingly. It was so funny, after The Jacksons: An American Dream came out, we secretly started calling my father Joseph. I cannot recall being spanked at home but my brother was, terribly. We also went to a private Christian school that lavished corporal punishment on kids. The principal kept a fat black belt in his office and ALL the teachers had spanking devices (belts, sticks, etc); they wouldn’t spank you in class but would yank you into a closet or empty classroom and do it. This is the only time I recall being spanked, in second grade. I came home with welts where I had to pull my dress up and tights down and my mother was appalled; eventually my parents put us in public school.
With so much punishment all the time, by the time my brother was 9 or 10, it had absolutely no effect on him. It was like, “oh well, I am going to get hit for something, so I’ll just do whatever I want and take the consequences.” This attitude was then taken as disrespect and things just got worse.
Now that I am an adult, I agree there are more creative and meaningful methods of disciplining children. With my niece and nephew who are almost 8 and 5, a look usually does the trick when they are with me. Surprisingly, I am usually able to reason with this nephew and explain to him why his behavior is not acceptable and needs to stop. I have also never had to spank my 2-year old nephew; a look, taken toy or a slapped hand (if it’s something dangerous) is enough for him to stop whatever he’s doing. Granted these are not my kids so I don’t have them all the time but I have never had a behavior problem that required spanking. They are polite and obedient when they are with me and seem to know that is the expectation. They don’t try me either the way they do other family members.
With my kids, spanking will be an absolute last resort and/or reserved for very serious infractions with, like others said, done with a talk afterward. Also I don’t think I would spank past 10; for older kids I think you should be able to reason with them and apply appropriate consequences for poor behavior choices. I just think when you repeatedly hit kids, it only breeds resentment and an urge to eventually fight back.
… 12 to 13 seems fairly reasonable to me. I think I got my last one summer where around my 14th birthday, and after that the punishments started to set in …
I got more spankings from 10 to 13 than I did in any other period, and most of them were necessary. I think that’s the age when kids need them most — and the most punishment, period. I’m not sure how effective punishment was after that point for me … once I hit high school, it became more about not disappointing my parents.
I guess I didn’t make this evident in the post, but I’m not for wreckless “just because you needed one” spankings. And I firmly believe in using a range of devices at an early age as well. Not just spankings. They all work … I just believe spankings put a certain fear & understanding in children that “timeouts” and taking toys away can’t.
You’re definitely right about this, though: “I just think when you repeatedly hit kids, it only breeds resentment and an urge to eventually fight back.”
“I just think when you repeatedly hit kids, it only breeds resentment and an urge to eventually fight back.”
I agree with this also. The only reason I never fought back with my mother in my teens was because I didin’t think I’d win.
“But making your kids hold a push-up position or making them “watch TV” for an hour or two will suffice.”
cosign.
my parents (and aunts, uncles, grandparents, parents’ cousins, etc.) whupped us, but they also punished us without layin’ hands on us as well. when my brother & cousin were 4, they stole gum from a store. they didn’t get a whupping or even one finger laid on them. my parents & my aunt and uncle simply yelled at them, put their toys and some clothes in a garbage bag and “kicked them out of the house” (read: left them on the front porch crying) for about 30 minutes. they said they didn’t raise thieves, so find another place to live lol.
another thing done is that they’d make us kneel on the floor for HOURS. just there. that ish is effective. my brothers and i hit kids too, lol, but moreso we do the non-physical way of punishing our little cousins.
hell, i even do it to kids at church. i told this one little 4-year-old dude that if he kept running around i’d throw him out of the window. he didn’t believe me and kept running. so i told him to open a window. he refused. i dragged him to a window, made him open it, and after he stopped crying, he got the message lol. i leave kids stranded on top of tables in empty rooms, man. i know they’re too scared to jump haha.
What our parents did was basically let us know without a doubt there are consequences for your bad behavior/attitude etc. It did not matter if they took the game, you got a spanking, were straight embarassed etc. you knew that when they said what they were going to do, they did it. Our folks were intent upon raising responsible, respecting children that would become productive adults. It was done out of love and with a purpose – to make sure that we made it and would continue to prosper.
This generation is experiencing something that we have not. Our parents had a reason beyond us behaving well for that moment. What is the focus and the purpose of the discipline beyond just putting them in line today? What is the real goal? Education is considered to be a joke by too many folks – so what is the goal – to be more ghetto, more down with the ‘hood? After a funny/serious convo with my folks I was told that the goal of correcting my behavior was to make sure that when opportunities arose I would have the ability to self discipline, self motivate, self control and have the tenacity to complete a goal & get to the next one. I honestly think that is a big difference too with how kids are disciplined now – the goal has gotta be beyond just making them behave. Where do you expect, want, have a desire for your kids to go is a big part of why you are setting them straight as well.
Where the hell was I? I missed this one and I missed a DAMN good one.
No one’s saying you gotta kill your children, but I’ma tell you what… I ain’t met a kid yet who got “handled” by their parents (appropriately) who were bad people. I have, however, met some folks whose parents believed heavily in time out and only time out who need a beatin’ now. Just saying.
first off, you all are idiots. Children naturally are goin to be mischevious. their cognitive thinking abilities havent even began to develop and wont properly develop if they get beaten for the wrong things theyve done. Children are in an egocentric state in their lives. they can give 3 fucks less about their affects on your appearence, which is irrelevant to how you raise the child. people whip their children in grocery stores not because of what the child did, but because of the embarrasment, which is a fucking shame. The only thing u teach a child by “whooping their ass” is to not to do it when Mom/Dad is around. I can tell some of yall were beat up as children, you all lack cognitive thinking skills. I havent even graduated high school yet.